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Old 07-09-2009, 07:00 AM   #861
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yadayadayadayadayadaya...Yada...Yada....YA!

You now have the power to read the thoughts of objects and move minds with sheer will-power.
This however gets boring rather soon, since the only thoughts objects ever have are "I exist, please don't break me",and the only way you can move a mind is by pushing it out of the eye-sockets. And that looks a bit messy. Besides, it doesn't get you anywhere except in jail, where there are very few objects whose thoughts you can read.

I wish my internship report was done so I could enjoy my holiday.
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Old 07-10-2009, 08:50 PM   #862
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Gerzeldaheide, Blinky and Carter Oosterhuis!!!

Your internship report is finally done, except it's typed out letter by letter on thousands of pieces of confetti. A sudden gust of wind completely stirs up the confetti, so you end up spending your holiday gathering up every single piece and gluing them together.

I wish it were summer year-round in my city.
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Old 07-10-2009, 09:13 PM   #863
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trunkyo View Post
I wish it were summer year-round in my city.


*foop* Global warming fukcs up the planet to the point where your city basks in 80 degrees F practically every single day of the year. Meanwhile, in other parts of the world, people are starving to death because YOUR WISH forced the climate to diminish the rain forests, render farmlands infertile, killed off cattle, and created catastrophic tidal waves, tornadoes, and hurricanes that kill hundreds of thousands of lives, those very people who are simply trying to eke out a very basic livelihood and feed their families.



I wish for there to be a solution to end hunger around the world.
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Old 07-11-2009, 01:42 PM   #864
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(ooh, this one is too easy..)

*flufflflufflfluffl* A bunch of celebrities endorse cannibalism, and suddenly it becomes a worldwide trend which just keeps growing indefinitely.




Hey, could you get me a glass of lemonade? Thanks.
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Old 07-12-2009, 12:09 AM   #865
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Ooo-zAAzAAH!!

You get a glass made entirely of lemonade, you appreciate the irony - but eventually find it pretentious and representative of the breakdown of modern society... so you hit the artist in the nose and get arrested for assault.

I wish that argon had more mainstream practical uses.
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Old 07-24-2009, 12:27 AM   #866
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Tuuur-pakat-grinsdillshorp!!

You get all of this but - because you failed to corrupt the previous wish - the Gods of the Thread release fiery beams of purest vitriol to DESTROY YOUR KNEES!!!

I wish my feet weren't sore.
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Old 07-24-2009, 02:34 AM   #867
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Swooooouuuuush!!!

The Gods of the Thread release fiery beams of purest vitriol to DESTROY YOUR KNEES!!! Now you don't feel your feet anymore becouse your legs have fallen off below the knees.

I wish one of my friends had a better life.
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Old 07-24-2009, 08:02 PM   #868
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Boo Boo McSqueegee!

Your friend's life is now unimaginably wonderful, with much success, fame, fortune and happiness. It's so great that your friend won't stop talking, e-mailing, blogging, Facebooking and Twittering about how it's much better than your life, so you become insanely jealous, sever the friendship and move to another planet.

I wish the garbage strike in Toronto would end soon.
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Old 04-19-2010, 03:01 AM   #869
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Bang!
The garbage in Toronto doesn't strike anymore. It now puts the garbage collectors in bins and drives them to the dump at the edge of the city.

I wish the weather this week were as warm as yesterday.
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Old 04-19-2010, 05:05 AM   #870
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Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiinnnnnnnnng!

It is, just not where you are!

I wish I had job I really enjoyed.
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Old 04-19-2010, 08:13 AM   #871
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sizzle-frizzle-whizzle-mizzle!

You are now a sewer cleaner. And you love, nay, adore your job. Getting it was the best thing in your life. You are alway down there, cleaning the sewers, be it night, weekend, holidays. People, who complain about the way you smell and stop seeing you for it, you don't need them. It's just you, and your wonderful job. And besides, the sewer rats love you.

I wish I finally found blood flow in the MRI scans I made.
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Old 04-19-2010, 08:22 AM   #872
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Prrroink! You suddenly realize that you have to use live patients instead of dead ones.

I wish I didn't have to get up from the couch.
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Old 04-19-2010, 09:00 AM   #873
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Poof! Very suddenly, you find that both your legs are broken, and you no longer need to worry about getting up.

I wish someone would invent a teleporter (that works better than the one in The Fly )
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Old 04-19-2010, 09:59 AM   #874
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Zaaaa-bam!

A teleporter is promptly invented and you and Luna try it out together, but your neuro pathways get all tangled up and you come out as one person: Elvuna!
That must be better than becoming a fly!

I wish someone baked me 25 muffins with cream cheese frosting for next Friday when I'm treating all my co-workers to something yummy my last day at work.
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:23 AM   #875
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Vlort! Coming Friday some creepy old lady suddenly appears at your school and gives you a tray full of blackened, charred muffins with some brown bubbly hard stuff on them that you later realize must have been cheese. Your coworkers don't like the prank you pulled them and throw them at you. You lay in bed for a week with blue bumps all over your body.

I wish we had a new AG get-together next week or so.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:04 PM   #876
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Bazzit! There's an AG get-together next week, but since no one winds up being able to show up to Vancouver in time, I'm the only one who shows up.

I wish I had some ice cream.
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Old 04-19-2010, 02:15 PM   #877
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K- ching......ching

You now have so much ice cream that is all you get to eat for a year.


I wish for the pollen to go away.
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Old 04-19-2010, 02:21 PM   #878
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squinky View Post
Bazzit! There's an AG get-together next week, but since no one winds up being able to show up to Vancouver in time, I'm the only one who shows up.

I wish I had some ice cream.
Zoobit! You have ice cream, but it's potato flavored with jalapeños.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bulldog View Post
I wish for the pollen to go away.
Boing boing! All the pollen goes away and all the plants on the planet die off.

I wish my artistic muse was more active. I have a project to complete and no idea where to begin.
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Old 04-19-2010, 05:33 PM   #879
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Originally Posted by Lady Kestrel View Post
I wish my artistic muse was more active. I have a project to complete and no idea where to begin.
zzzzzzzChuhChuhChuhChuhChuhChuhChuhChuhChuhNuhNuhN uhzzzzz

<knock knock>

"Excuse me, we would like to discuss the images you left on the water tower. And the church steeple. And the town hall. And how in the devil did you get them all over the bridge?"

I wish... I wish I had a modest wealth without a job, comfortable living, no stress, safe, had time for gardening and contributing to the community,
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Old 04-19-2010, 08:47 PM   #880
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Pip! Your wish is granted. You turn into an old fart only three months later.

I wish I knew what to do.
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