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Old 02-01-2007, 06:26 AM   #21
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Pazoing-g-g-g! Your university adopts the American system of degrees and hands them out to anyone.


I wish that I had X-ray vision so I could see through people's clothes
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Old 02-01-2007, 06:30 AM   #22
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POOF* you now have x-ray eyes but you looked at too many people now your power is gone.

I wish everyone a bright sunny day
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Old 02-01-2007, 06:44 AM   #23
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*poof* Everyone has a bright and sunny day, a very bright and sunny day - The oceans evaporates, forest fires everywhere, and everyone dies of water loss..

I wish I could be thinner
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Old 02-01-2007, 06:58 AM   #24
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*blup* You are sliced in half, longways, by an axe murderer and are now thinner


I wish that I could spend all day doing nothing
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Old 02-01-2007, 07:10 AM   #25
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*plop* You die.

I wish I could live in a videogame world!
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Old 02-01-2007, 07:19 AM   #26
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Granted. You are now doomed to spend the rest of your life in a video game office department, typing lifeless numbers into a computer.

I wish I lived in Manaus.
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Old 02-01-2007, 07:19 AM   #27
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*SLAM* Nazi alien robots destroy your house, but since you're not a video game character you fail to jump out in the nick of time.

I wish more ladies would like-like me.

EDIT: Bah.
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Old 02-01-2007, 07:37 AM   #28
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You are captured by a team of unscrupulous scientists to test the effects of higher testosterone and other altered hormone levels. The reesults make you a lot more violent, less intellectually capable, much hornier and generally much less well adjusted emotionally, but somewhat more likeable to a significant number of women.

I wish I had the means to crush those who oppose me.
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Old 02-01-2007, 08:23 AM   #29
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Past tense again: now your enemies have stolen the means and are crushing you!


I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a '64 Impala
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Old 02-01-2007, 08:30 AM   #30
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The rabbit in the hat jumps out and hits you to death with the bat, finishing you off with the '64 Impala.

I wish Dracula had a better car.
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Old 02-01-2007, 08:44 AM   #31
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Assuming that the presence of "had" means something has to refer to the past is like assuming "le" or "der" means something has a penis.

Vlad dracula is exhumed and reburied in a ferrari enzo in a giant tomb with thousands of freshly impaled turks.

I wish there was an ipod that runs on AAA batteries.
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:08 AM   #32
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An iPod is created that runs on AAA batteries... for about five minutes.

I wish I was.
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:22 AM   #33
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The ghost of shakespeare appears to you and gives you a modified version of hamlet's "to be or not to be soliloqui". It differs in that it's desgined to convince you to be and is a few weeks long. This results in you speaking medieval english instead of modern.

Accidental early posting
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:25 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RLacey View Post
An iPod is created that runs on AAA batteries... for about five minutes.

I wish I was.
You would if you thought!
So says Descartes anyway.
I wish I paid more attention to my philosophy classroom instead of drinking beer and playing foosball.
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Where are they now?
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:29 AM   #35
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Unscrupulous scientists use you as a guinea pig for various new stimulants.

I wish for a bunch of extra inhabitable planets in the solar system.
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:36 AM   #36
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Some extra inhabitable planets appear... seconds before nuclear war claims the lives of every individual on the planet other than you.

I wish I was a Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair.
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:44 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RLacey View Post
Some extra inhabitable planets appear... seconds before nuclear war claims the lives of every individual on the planet other than you.

I wish I was a Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair.
Suddenly, you meet a Punk Rocker with Knuckles in The Hand, who don't like hippies so much.

I wish I had a clone to go to work instead of me, so I can do only nice stuff at home and still earn cash.
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Old 02-01-2007, 09:47 AM   #38
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*poof* While at home, all you end up doing is sitting around watching daytime television, and you become morbidly obese and lethargic as a result. Meanwhile, your clone becomes very successful in his line of work, marries the woman (man?) of your dreams, and lives happily ever after.

I wish I didn't have so much work to do.
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Old 02-01-2007, 10:08 AM   #39
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Granted... you develop a strange desire to eat all of you paperwork thus causing an intestinal blockage and you died.

I wish I could know how many licks to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop
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Old 02-01-2007, 10:23 AM   #40
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You receive an internship with the afforementioned unscrupulous scientists, where after assiting with a few other experiments performed on humans you get the opportunity to test this.

I wish that new pantherxl joysticks were made, ones with the same design, but without the durability problems, and that they don't cost much more.

Quote:
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Some extra inhabitable planets doth appear... seconds before nuclear war claimeth th'lives of every individual on the planet other than ye.
Me and who?
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