Pazoing-g-g-g! Your university adopts the American system of degrees and hands them out to anyone.
I wish that I had X-ray vision so I could see through people's clothes |
POOF* you now have x-ray eyes but you looked at too many people now your power is gone.
I wish everyone a bright sunny day |
*poof* Everyone has a bright and sunny day, a very bright and sunny day - The oceans evaporates, forest fires everywhere, and everyone dies of water loss..
I wish I could be thinner |
*blup* You are sliced in half, longways, by an axe murderer and are now thinner
I wish that I could spend all day doing nothing |
*plop* You die.
I wish I could live in a videogame world! |
Granted. You are now doomed to spend the rest of your life in a video game office department, typing lifeless numbers into a computer.
I wish I lived in Manaus. |
*SLAM* Nazi alien robots destroy your house, but since you're not a video game character you fail to jump out in the nick of time.
I wish more ladies would like-like me. EDIT: Bah. |
You are captured by a team of unscrupulous scientists to test the effects of higher testosterone and other altered hormone levels. The reesults make you a lot more violent, less intellectually capable, much hornier and generally much less well adjusted emotionally, but somewhat more likeable to a significant number of women.
I wish I had the means to crush those who oppose me. |
Past tense again: now your enemies have stolen the means and are crushing you!
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a '64 Impala |
The rabbit in the hat jumps out and hits you to death with the bat, finishing you off with the '64 Impala.
I wish Dracula had a better car. |
Assuming that the presence of "had" means something has to refer to the past is like assuming "le" or "der" means something has a penis.
Vlad dracula is exhumed and reburied in a ferrari enzo in a giant tomb with thousands of freshly impaled turks. I wish there was an ipod that runs on AAA batteries. |
An iPod is created that runs on AAA batteries... for about five minutes.
I wish I was. |
The ghost of shakespeare appears to you and gives you a modified version of hamlet's "to be or not to be soliloqui". It differs in that it's desgined to convince you to be and is a few weeks long. This results in you speaking medieval english instead of modern.
Accidental early posting |
Quote:
So says Descartes anyway. I wish I paid more attention to my philosophy classroom instead of drinking beer and playing foosball. |
Unscrupulous scientists use you as a guinea pig for various new stimulants.
I wish for a bunch of extra inhabitable planets in the solar system. |
Some extra inhabitable planets appear... seconds before nuclear war claims the lives of every individual on the planet other than you.
I wish I was a Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair. |
Quote:
I wish I had a clone to go to work instead of me, so I can do only nice stuff at home and still earn cash. |
*poof* While at home, all you end up doing is sitting around watching daytime television, and you become morbidly obese and lethargic as a result. Meanwhile, your clone becomes very successful in his line of work, marries the woman (man?) of your dreams, and lives happily ever after.
I wish I didn't have so much work to do. |
Granted... you develop a strange desire to eat all of you paperwork thus causing an intestinal blockage and you died.
I wish I could know how many licks to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop |
You receive an internship with the afforementioned unscrupulous scientists, where after assiting with a few other experiments performed on humans you get the opportunity to test this.
I wish that new pantherxl joysticks were made, ones with the same design, but without the durability problems, and that they don't cost much more. Quote:
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