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SSH 02-01-2007 06:26 AM

Pazoing-g-g-g! Your university adopts the American system of degrees and hands them out to anyone.


I wish that I had X-ray vision so I could see through people's clothes

bulldog 02-01-2007 06:30 AM

POOF* you now have x-ray eyes but you looked at too many people now your power is gone.

I wish everyone a bright sunny day

Panthera 02-01-2007 06:44 AM

*poof* Everyone has a bright and sunny day, a very bright and sunny day - The oceans evaporates, forest fires everywhere, and everyone dies of water loss..

I wish I could be thinner

SSH 02-01-2007 06:58 AM

*blup* You are sliced in half, longways, by an axe murderer and are now thinner


I wish that I could spend all day doing nothing

MoriartyL 02-01-2007 07:10 AM

*plop* You die.

I wish I could live in a videogame world!

Giligan 02-01-2007 07:19 AM

Granted. You are now doomed to spend the rest of your life in a video game office department, typing lifeless numbers into a computer.

I wish I lived in Manaus.

Spiwak 02-01-2007 07:19 AM

*SLAM* Nazi alien robots destroy your house, but since you're not a video game character you fail to jump out in the nick of time.

I wish more ladies would like-like me.

EDIT: Bah.

undeaf 02-01-2007 07:37 AM

You are captured by a team of unscrupulous scientists to test the effects of higher testosterone and other altered hormone levels. The reesults make you a lot more violent, less intellectually capable, much hornier and generally much less well adjusted emotionally, but somewhat more likeable to a significant number of women.

I wish I had the means to crush those who oppose me.

SSH 02-01-2007 08:23 AM

Past tense again: now your enemies have stolen the means and are crushing you!


I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a '64 Impala

Hammerite 02-01-2007 08:30 AM

The rabbit in the hat jumps out and hits you to death with the bat, finishing you off with the '64 Impala.

I wish Dracula had a better car.

undeaf 02-01-2007 08:44 AM

Assuming that the presence of "had" means something has to refer to the past is like assuming "le" or "der" means something has a penis.

Vlad dracula is exhumed and reburied in a ferrari enzo in a giant tomb with thousands of freshly impaled turks.

I wish there was an ipod that runs on AAA batteries.

RLacey 02-01-2007 09:08 AM

An iPod is created that runs on AAA batteries... for about five minutes.

I wish I was.

undeaf 02-01-2007 09:22 AM

The ghost of shakespeare appears to you and gives you a modified version of hamlet's "to be or not to be soliloqui". It differs in that it's desgined to convince you to be and is a few weeks long. This results in you speaking medieval english instead of modern.

Accidental early posting

Tramboi 02-01-2007 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLacey (Post 387035)
An iPod is created that runs on AAA batteries... for about five minutes.

I wish I was.

You would if you thought!
So says Descartes anyway.
I wish I paid more attention to my philosophy classroom instead of drinking beer and playing foosball.

undeaf 02-01-2007 09:29 AM

Unscrupulous scientists use you as a guinea pig for various new stimulants.

I wish for a bunch of extra inhabitable planets in the solar system.

RLacey 02-01-2007 09:36 AM

Some extra inhabitable planets appear... seconds before nuclear war claims the lives of every individual on the planet other than you.

I wish I was a Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair.

Tramboi 02-01-2007 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLacey (Post 387041)
Some extra inhabitable planets appear... seconds before nuclear war claims the lives of every individual on the planet other than you.

I wish I was a Punk Rocker with Flowers in My Hair.

Suddenly, you meet a Punk Rocker with Knuckles in The Hand, who don't like hippies so much.

I wish I had a clone to go to work instead of me, so I can do only nice stuff at home and still earn cash.

Squinky 02-01-2007 09:47 AM

*poof* While at home, all you end up doing is sitting around watching daytime television, and you become morbidly obese and lethargic as a result. Meanwhile, your clone becomes very successful in his line of work, marries the woman (man?) of your dreams, and lives happily ever after.

I wish I didn't have so much work to do.

bulldog 02-01-2007 10:08 AM

Granted... you develop a strange desire to eat all of you paperwork thus causing an intestinal blockage and you died.

I wish I could know how many licks to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop

undeaf 02-01-2007 10:23 AM

You receive an internship with the afforementioned unscrupulous scientists, where after assiting with a few other experiments performed on humans you get the opportunity to test this.

I wish that new pantherxl joysticks were made, ones with the same design, but without the durability problems, and that they don't cost much more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLacey (Post 387041)
Some extra inhabitable planets doth appear... seconds before nuclear war claimeth th'lives of every individual on the planet other than ye.

Me and who?


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