[Squinky]

Originally Posted by Lee in Limbo

Did I miss anything?

You missed the fact that inexperienced women exist too, that putting off dating until one is older is actually better for some people, and that real human beings are so much more complicated than a set of generalised rules would make you expect. Of course, I'll concede that this is probably not the sort of thing Hammy wants (or perhaps needs) to hear right now.

Originally Posted by Lee in Limbo

1) Do you prefer to ask questions that relate to your own interests, or do you prefer to ask questions based on stuff that you're not too sure about?
2) Do you prefer meeting people you've got some social element in common with (school, work, club, etc), or do you like meeting people in public at social events for the first time with no preconceived notions of what they might be like based on their social background?
3) Do you think Blu-Ray is really all that and a bag of chips, or are we just fooling ourselves into buying into yet another round of reissues leading up to the technology that actually will be with us for at least a few decades, the way television and the telephone (and home PCs) have been?

1. A little of both. I'm interested in a lot of things I'm not too sure about -- that's why I want to learn more about what other people think!
2. The former, because I can't actually, you know, talk to people otherwise. (unless a few people at the social event in question happen to be talking about something I know something about, anyway)
3. I don't have or particularly want a Blu-Ray player. My parents have one, and it's pretty, but not really worth the extra money to me and my far more limited budget.

---

1. Why do so many people lead less exciting lives when they get married and/or have children?
2. At what point in a relationship do you know it's time to end it?
3. Since dating is so fraught with pain and complications, why do people even bother?

[Lee in Limbo]

Originally Posted by Squinky

You missed the fact that inexperienced women exist too, that putting off dating until one is older is actually better for some people, and that real human beings are so much more complicated than a set of generalised rules would make you expect. Of course, I'll concede that this is probably not the sort of thing Hammy wants (or perhaps needs) to hear right now.

Busted!

1. Why do so many people lead less exciting lives when they get married and/or have children?
2. At what point in a relationship do you know it's time to end it?
3. Since dating is so fraught with pain and complications, why do people even bother?

1. Compromise.
2. When they're gone.
3. Addiction.

[stepurhan]

Originally Posted by Squinky

1. Why do so many people lead less exciting lives when they get married and/or have children?
2. At what point in a relationship do you know it's time to end it?
3. Since dating is so fraught with pain and complications, why do people even bother?

1. They don't necessarily. I've done things since I've been married that I probably wouldn't have if I wasn't. Some of them are things Mrs Urhan introduced me to. Some of them are things Mrs Urhan encouraged that I might have dropped on my own.
2. When the relationship makes either of you happy for more than brief periods. When the pain of being in the relationship exceeds the fear of losing it. When you both realise that you are better as just friends (Mrs Urhan is still good friends with her ex-husband)
3. Because there are times when it isn't pain and complications. The joy of those times makes having endured the earlier pain worthwhile.

1. What do you do that makes you happy that other people think is weird?
2. Have you ever not done something you wanted to for fear of how others would view it?
3. What's your favourite dessert? (A nice light question to finish on )

[Jelena]

Originally Posted by Squinky

1. Why do so many people lead less exciting lives when they get married and/or have children?

Nothing in my life has been more exciting than having my children, each phase in their lives are exciting in different ways and I fear my life will get so much more dull when they leave home.

[Lee in Limbo]

Originally Posted by stepurhan

[LIST=1][*]I've done things since I've been married that I probably wouldn't have if I wasn't.

Originally Posted by Jelena

Nothing in my life has been more exciting than having my children, each phase in their lives are exciting in different ways and I fear my life will get so much more dull when they leave home.

I love you guys.

[Trumgottist]

Originally Posted by stepurhan

1. What do you do that makes you happy that other people think is weird?
2. Have you ever not done something you wanted to for fear of how others would view it?
3. What's your favourite dessert? (A nice light question to finish on )

1. Make computer games. And really far fetched jokes.
2. Yes. When I was nine (I think, or maybe ten) I left the children's choir I was in. I regretted that several times in the following years but didn't dare to rejoin.
3. Considering the season, I'll have to say fresh strawberries. Served with cold milk or vanilla ice-cream.

--

1. What do you think is weird that other people like to do?
2. How do you react to people acting weirdly? (If you meet them - not on the internet.)
3. As a general rule, do you think before you act?

[tsa]

Originally Posted by Trumgottist

1. What do you think is weird that other people like to do?
2. How do you react to people acting weirdly? (If you meet them - not on the internet.)
3. As a general rule, do you think before you act?

1. Smoking. How can you destroy your beautiful young body by such a filthy habit?
2. I laugh if they act funny. If they do weird and dangerous or mean things I don't want to have to do with them anymore.
3. I should think a bit longer in some circumstances, but usually my acts are pretty thought-out.

---

I like Trumgottist's questions so I will repeat them here:

Originally Posted by Trumgottist

1. What do you think is weird that other people like to do?
2. How do you react to people acting weirdly? (If you meet them - not on the internet.)
3. As a general rule, do you think before you act?

[Squinky]

1. Mating rituals.
2. I silently judge them.
3. Yes, but the speed and efficiency of said thinking varies on a situational basis.

---

1. What's the best way to tell someone you disagree with them without hurting their feelings?
2. When people you know are having trouble in their lives, how do you know whether it's right to intervene?
3. What's the weather been like lately?

[tsa]

Originally Posted by Squinky

1. What's the best way to tell someone you disagree with them without hurting their feelings?
2. When people you know are having trouble in their lives, how do you know whether it's right to intervene?
3. What's the weather been like lately?

1. I tell them they suck and that they are stuuupid and I know better.
2. I never intervene. They're grown-ups, they can live their own life.
3. Hot and sunny, and it will get worse.

---

1. What's the colour of money?
2. What is love?
3. How 'bout us?

[Lee in Limbo]

Originally Posted by stepurhan

1. What do you do that makes you happy that other people think is weird?
2. Have you ever not done something you wanted to for fear of how others would view it?
3. What's your favourite dessert? (A nice light question to finish on )

1. I organize my mp3 collection by band and chronological order of release, as well as the correct song sequence.
2. Yeah, but I usually change my mind later. I've only been having trouble getting stuff past my wife lately, which is slightly different.
3. It's a toss up between Stoney Creek Dairy Black Cherry Ice Cream and President's Choice Mocha Almond Fudge Ice Cream.

Originally Posted by Trumgottist

1. What do you think is weird that other people like to do?
2. How do you react to people acting weirdly? (If you meet them - not on the internet.)
3. As a general rule, do you think before you act?

1. Watch reality television.
2. I smile and keep walking.
3. Usually, except when the mania takes hold

Originally Posted by Squinky

1. What's the best way to tell someone you disagree with them without hurting their feelings?
2. When people you know are having trouble in their lives, how do you know whether it's right to intervene?
3. What's the weather been like lately?

1. I usually very pointedly walk away. It's perhaps not the best way to work out a problem, but they can't mistake it for approval or consent.
2. I usually just start dropping them little notes letting them know I'm there for them, and wait to see if they decide to come to me for help. If they don't, I cry inside a little.
3. Mainly sunny with a few showers, high humidity throughout the day but cooling by sundown.

Originally Posted by tsa

1. What's the colour of money?
2. What is love?
3. How 'bout us?

1. I always equate the colour of money with green, even though I'm Canadian and we have multi-coloured money, because our old one dollar bills and our twenty dollar bills were/are both green, and we live so close to the states, where all money is green. Plus, green is the colour of greed and envy, two words that usually are associated with money.
2. A belief and a feeling that you are with someone that is a part of you, and will be for life, come what may.
3. Well, you're alright and all, but I usually like my men a little more dynamic and studly, like Captain Jack Harkness.
____________________

1) Do you have a favourite song that tells an interesting story?
2) Do you have a favourite book that uses cool musical references or lyrics to tell the story?
3) Do you have a favourite movie that uses books or handwriting as part of its storytelling imagery?

[Squinky]

Originally Posted by Lee in Limbo

I usually just start dropping them little notes letting them know I'm there for them, and wait to see if they decide to come to me for help. If they don't, I cry inside a little.

Good. That means I must be doing it right, or at least not completely wrong...

Originally Posted by Lee in Limbo

1) Do you have a favourite song that tells an interesting story?
2) Do you have a favourite book that uses cool musical references or lyrics to tell the story?
3) Do you have a favourite movie that uses books or handwriting as part of its storytelling imagery?

1. Boney M's "Rasputin", and it's a history lesson, to boot!
2. Elizabeth Haydon worked a lot of musical references into her fantasy books, which I enjoyed when I first read them and still have a soft spot for.
3. Beauty and the Beast, because Alan Menken-era Disney is always a lot of fun.



---

1. What does teen spirit smell like?
2. Is there a work of fiction you like that has a significantly girly fan base?
3. Have you ever worn a costume on any occasion other than Halloween?

[MoriartyL]

1. Smell like? Hmph. I don't know, sweat? I'm not sure how to approach the question. I'm not sure I'm familiar with such a concept as "teen spirit", so I have no idea what it would smell like.
2. Probably, at some point. Does Gilmore Girls count? I enjoyed that TV show. And one of my favorite shows ever is Felicity, which is about a college girl and the relationships around her, so it wouldn't surprise me if the fanbase were girly, but then that was a real quality show so I honestly can't say what the fanbase was like. And I loved the comic book "Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane" which was about a teenage girl and her crush on a superhero, so it wouldn't surprise me if there were a lot of teenage girls in that audience but it also wouldn't surprise me if there weren't because it was a fantastic re-imagining of a superhero comic and I imagine more men would be interested in that than women. I think the reason I'm having trouble answering this question with any confidence is that I know what I like but I don't know what the other people who like what I like are like. Like, maybe they're what you'd call girly but maybe they're not. But between all the different media I've been exposed to, I'm bound to have enjoyed things with a predominantly female fanbase at one point or another.
3. The last time I wore a costume was on stage. So, yes.

=================================================

1. Is it possible for a person to force himself to be happy with something?
2. I've got some relatives coming soon who I can't stand. Every time I talk to them, it turns into an argument. We can't see eye-to-eye on any subject. Do you think I should try to avoid them, or should I just go with the arguments?
3. Name some piece of art or entertainment which you encountered lately but which left almost zero impression on you.

[Trumgottist]

Originally Posted by MoriartyL

I'm not sure I'm familiar with such a concept as "teen spirit",

Do you mean that you're unfamiliar with this song? (It's originally by Nirvana, but I prefer this version.) I don't understand the lyrics, but it's beautiful.

[Lee in Limbo]

Originally Posted by Squinky

1. What does teen spirit smell like?
2. Is there a work of fiction you like that has a significantly girly fan base?
3. Have you ever worn a costume on any occasion other than Halloween?

1. Exhilarated fear and sexual tension.
2. I read and liked the Hello God, It's Me, Margaret book. Does that count?
3. Thinking about it, I would have to say not really, though I sort of planned to during my earliest days as a wannabe rock star. My stage name was Philo the Clown.

Originally Posted by MoriartyL

1. Is it possible for a person to force himself to be happy with something?
2. I've got some relatives coming soon who I can't stand. Every time I talk to them, it turns into an argument. We can't see eye-to-eye on any subject. Do you think I should try to avoid them, or should I just go with the arguments?
3. Name some piece of art or entertainment which you encountered lately but which left almost zero impression on you.

1. Not precisely force, but you can change your mind about your situation and find it less irritating than you did. Being irritated and annoyed is sort of a conditioned response, but it's also a choice we make. You can either get peeved, or you can brush it off and find something to enjoy about your situation. And yes, I know it sounds easier than it is. I didn't say it didn't require some mental work. But the work requires that you do something very important and life-affirming: you have to admit that you don't know everything, and that other people may be right as well.
2. You might try not being so insistent that they are wrong. You don't have to challenge them on their every assumption. they may be wrong, but you don't have to prove you're right every time you see them. Antagonism is born of feeling challenged. Feeling challenged is a response we develop based on our perception of other people's opinion of us. If we can just let go of the need to be seen as superior to those around us, we can brush off the perceived challenges to assert ourselves and learn to appreciate those around us for who they are, rather than who they (or we) aren't.

That sounds so preachy. I apologize. What i mean is, cut them some slack. Family is something that intelligent, sensitive people generally have trouble dealing with, because you get so many personality types, all making the assumption that they have to impress each other with how capable and knowledgeable they are. I don't know why this happens. Maybe it's a hierarchical pecking order thing.

Too few families are truly comfortable around one another, because we're all sort of forced to associate with each other whether we want to or not. It's an affront to have to compete with all of these strangers who claim some right to you simply because they have common ancestry. Some families and personality types within those family units just get along great as a matter of course, but larger families always seem to have their ugly ducklings and black sheep.

Anyway, my advice to you is: lighten up. You can't change them, and you can't get rid of them, so you might as well learn to love them, warts and all.
3. Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People was sort of alright, but I lost interest pretty quickly.
____________________

1) Do you prefer photographic images to handmade art images?
2) Do you prefer abstracted or impressionistic art images to realistic ones?
3) Do you prefer serious drawing styles to cartoonish ones?

And yeah, those questions are fairly similar, though I perceive some subtle differences between them. If the seeming repetition bores you, go back and answer some of Mory's or Trum's questions.

[MoriartyL]

Originally Posted by Lee in Limbo

Anyway, my advice to you is: lighten up. You can't change them, and you can't get rid of them, so you might as well learn to love them, warts and all.

Well, the thing is that I can sort of get rid of them. They live in a different country, after all. Right now I'm leaning toward dealing with them with cold politeness, and try to end any conversation before it goes far enough for them to start insulting me.

[Not A Speck Of Cereal]

Three questions Mory.

[tsa]

Lee posted three questions already.

[Squinky]

Originally Posted by MoriartyL

I've got some relatives coming soon who I can't stand. Every time I talk to them, it turns into an argument. We can't see eye-to-eye on any subject. Do you think I should try to avoid them, or should I just go with the arguments?

First of all, do you enjoy arguing? If so, then argue to your heart's content until you (or they) stop enjoying it. If not, ask yourself whether it's mostly you or them who's doing the provoking. If it's you, then just stop saying anything and let them hold their own opinions, misguided though they may be, comforting yourself with the fact that they'll be gone soon enough. If they're the ones picking a fight, then practise a bit of mental jiu-jitsu and turn their arguments back upon themselves; it's probably the most effective way to get them off your back.

Originally Posted by Lee in Limbo

1) Do you prefer photographic images to handmade art images?
2) Do you prefer abstracted or impressionistic art images to realistic ones?
3) Do you prefer serious drawing styles to cartoonish ones?

1. Not a fan of photography unless there's some artistic element to it; I'd rather see the real thing. And I'm generally more of a fan of handmade things.
2. I skew heavily towards the abstract.
3. Mostly cartoons (that's what I draw, after all) but it really depends on the artist. One thing I really enjoy is blending serious subject matter with cartoonish art, or the opposite.

---

1. What do you think of the serial comma? (e.g. "this, this, and this" instead of "this, this and this")
2. Do you think it's possible to be a good writer if you don't have a good grasp of spelling and grammar?
3. Do you prefer languages where there's almost no room for ambiguity because there's a precise word for nearly everything, or languages that can be ambiguous to the point of confusion but have a lot more potential for wordplay?

[Trumgottist]

Originally Posted by Squinky

1. What do you think of the serial comma? (e.g. "this, this, and this" instead of "this, this and this")
2. Do you think it's possible to be a good writer if you don't have a good grasp of spelling and grammar?
3. Do you prefer languages where there's almost no room for ambiguity because there's a precise word for nearly everything, or languages that can be ambiguous to the point of confusion but have a lot more potential for wordplay?

1. It look weird.
2. It's possible to be great at making up worlds, characters and plots and so on without having a clue regarding spelling and grammar, but unless you have a really good editor I think I'll answer no. Spelling and grammar is important, because lack of them becomes big road blocks for the reader to overcome.
3. I like wordplay! (To the point of being ridiculous, as my co-workers will tell you.)

--

1. Strict rules or free improvisation?
2. When's the exception to that?
3. Favourite music you're unfamiliar with? (Yes, I realise that's an odd question.)

[Lee in Limbo]

Originally Posted by Squinky

1. What do you think of the serial comma? (e.g. "this, this, and this" instead of "this, this and this")
2. Do you think it's possible to be a good writer if you don't have a good grasp of spelling and grammar?
3. Do you prefer languages where there's almost no room for ambiguity because there's a precise word for nearly everything, or languages that can be ambiguous to the point of confusion but have a lot more potential for wordplay?

1. I'm exceedingly fond of the serial comma. I like any tool that helps organize complex thoughts, and commas are a wonderful device for separating related-but-distinct ideas in the midst of a sentence without insisting on a pause to denote a shift in focus, or a full stop to signify the end of a thought. I like concise sentences as well, but they can be limiting, and some thoughts require more elaboration. Without the serial comma, such ideas tend to get lumped together in the mind of the reader, rendering them too confusing, and making the entire composition unpleasant and unmemorable. Serial commas are almost musical in their elegance.

2. A great storyteller, certainly. Perhaps even a great author, so long as they have an editor or assistant who can translate their strokes of genius into legible form. But being a good writer requires that you have some mastery of the tools, and that includes grammar and spelling. Now, possessing those skills does not make on a great writer (or storyteller or author, whatever you choose to call it), but it denotes intent, and without intent, even the prettiest expressions when collected become shallow and ineffective. It sounds a bit snooty, but you can't consider yourself a serious writer if you're not prepared to learn the forms.

That said, I don't think too much of my skills as a writer. But as a storyteller, I think I'm a fairly engrossing read at times.

3. I like a language that encourages both precision and wordplay. It's why I love the English language so much. It's an amazingly flexible tool, once you know where the bendy bits are.

Originally Posted by Trumgottist

1. Strict rules or free improvisation?
2. When's the exception to that?
3. Favourite music you're unfamiliar with? (Yes, I realise that's an odd question.)

1. Strict improvisation and free rules.
2. When I say so.
3. 20th Century music. I know a little about it, but have listened to so little of it that I don't feel I can confidently claim to be familiar with it, the way I am with most other forms of 'modern' music.
____________________

1) What music do you have in your possession that you consider so 'out there' that you rarely if ever listen to it, and virtually never with company?
2) What is the weirdest thing you've ever shared with someone? (And no, I don't mean secrets, though they can be. It could be kabuki theater masks, rhinestone codpieces, or just your favourite klezmer folk ensemble.)
3a) Do you have any spots on your body that are so sensitive to the touch that you literally flinch or jump when even your lover/partner/husband/wife touches you there?
3b) Do you still like them to touch you there anyway?

Yeah, I know, question three could be pretty personal. so to be fair, I'll even answer my own questions:
1. I'd say Frank Zappa here, but actually, I have some of this so-called progressive rock music, a collection of different bands' 'best' albums, masterpieces, apparently, and at least two thirds of it I haven't been able to get through because it's so offbeat or so unpleasant sounding (to me) that I just have to turn it off. But if I have to pick something I know I like but find too weird to share with just anyone, then yes, Frank Zappa.
2. I could cheat here and say the weirdest thing I ever shared with anyone was myself, but actually, I think the weirdest thing I've ever shared was my novel, Terminal Monday. Only one person has read it all the way through, as far as I know. Extraordinary achievement, that.
3a. I have a very sensitive spot just on the inside of my right hipbone, above but relatively close to the groin region. It's so sensitive that, touched at the right (wrong?) time, it can make me jump slightly, even while lying in bed.
3b. Goodness, yes. It's so sensitive that it almost hurts if handled carelessly, but treated carefully, it can also be extremely arousing.

And as always, if you'd rather, you can go answer somebody else's questions instead. I'm not actually trolling for sexual information. It was just on my mind, as I remembered my wife tormenting me recently with said spot, and I was wondering if anyone else has this problem.