[Jelena]

Originally Posted by Sage

Heck, I look scary when I'm all cleaned up; give me a week or so to scruff up properly and strangers will cross the street to avoid me.

Originally Posted by rlpw

You sound like me(and now my 14 year old daughter) in how I used to love the fact people looked at me like I was going to slit their throats.

Oh come on Sage and Paul. You two aren't scary looking. You're masculine, handsome men that women will drool all over if they get their hands on you.

Yes, Sage, you too. Even though you might not like it.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Gokyo, a village in the Himalayas. The mountain in the background is Cholatse.


" He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. " | Lao Tzu, from The Tao Te Ching


A deeply heartfelt thank you for everyone's wisdom regarding my situation. I'm perfectly fine, ultimately it was never anything devastating. But it did throw me off, made me question myself, and in a sense that was a good thing. I do have this tendency to ruminate on things, that's my nature. And it may look like I was feeling sorry for myself amongst other negativities, but it's really more that I was exploring - out loud - the nature of it. It worked. I realized something about myself, thanks to this, and I can truly declare it as betterment. And isn't that what matters most?

Scroll down to the bottom of this post to find out what I learned.

Originally Posted by Lynsie

[sarcastic rant]
Trep, I've met a few like him, at least like what you describe. I'd like to know if he has 'no tolerance for stupidity and the lack of independent thinking' how does he deal with the real world, since there are ample quantities of both in the world? Does he pontificate, sneer or go postal?

Oh, and how's his ego? Sounds larger than life. I don't doubt that he has few friends - few would stand up to his stringent criteria for existence. Does he also age discriminate? Those younger would be too inexperienced for him, and those more than a few years older would be too out of it. Sex discriminate? Mere women? Bah!

Were you not good enough for him? Trep, you so far surpass this arrogant, and superficial intellectual snob, you need to kiss him goodbye. You don't need his continual assessing of your intelligence, and holding you up to some imaginary yardstick. I'm surprised you'd even consider him - you know your worth better than that.[/sarcastic rant]

Love, M

My only reply to this, Lynsie, is that you should have used the [wisdom] [/wisdom] tags.

Originally Posted by Sagesie

Well said! I agree totally.

That was the point at which (if necessary) you should have begun gnawing your arm off to get away from that prick.

If I hadn't waited a little longer it may have become impatience on my part. And in hindsight I would have ended up like him - someone who, in his self congratulating lightning fast perceptions of people, fails to see the possible reward of simply sitting back and observing and discovering. Intelligence is a poor excuse for jumping to conclusions.

Originally Posted by rlpw

Lets go kick his snobby ass! How dare he snub my Trepsie!

Oh, and I like Friedrich best.

I was first exposed to Friedrich in art history class art college years ago. I remember staring at the paintings for a long time in transcendence. Not long after that I discovered Richter and the effect was similar but somehow far deeper and more profound.

Originally Posted by Squinky

Oh man, that sucks. Also, on behalf of gifted youngsters with low social skills everywhere, I apologize.

LOL! Now why would you, a socially adept intelligent individual yourself, want to apologize for the others who can and should cultivate their own damn social skills enough that they can speak for themselves?

Originally Posted by Giligan

Still, he might have a point.

An inflated tire doesn't have any obligation to have patience on a deflated tire, does it?

Naturally, this character, "S", is very unsure of himself, which would explain the need for dominance in conversation and the impatience. When you didn't fall all over his photo, he immediately became embarrassed of himself, possibly without cause, because of his little self-confidence. Everything rode on the photo; being rejected would and did, lead him to call off any relations with you. He would have felt nervous and defensive if the relationship was still on.

Perhaps it's not obligation that the inflated tire needs to cultivate. Perhaps it is patience and compassion.

After thinking it through I came to the same conclusion, at least it was that that seemed most likely to me. I really, honestly, had no idea he was trying to impress me with his work as 'art', and this is because he never told me what his intention was through this work.

Originally Posted by Jatsie

My opinion in a nutshell; this man is a pompous ass.

At least he had the courtesy to extricate himself from your life in a timely fashion, to save you the hassle of having to remove him later on.

Right-o. LOL!

Originally Posted by jacog

Just my 10c worth, which is only like 1.2c when I convert currency to $... This does not sound worth dwelling upon. Shrug, say what the hell, and move right along. You know how the guy is, your intuition told you so, you don't need to seek any confirmation.

As long as he's stuck in your head, he's part of your life, and you don't want that. But if you must... I suggest you do something childish but ultimately satisfying involving a car, gasoline and matches.

It's my nature to ruminate on these things. And as I stated, I learned something truly precious about myself because of it. Scroll down to find out.

I am doing something about it, but it doesn't involve anything destructive.

Originally Posted by Jelsie

Trep
There's not much for me to add regarding this S. He obviously is extremely self centred due to low self esteem or just an incapability of feeling empathy. During my years as a teacher I've come across kids every now and then with extreme intelligens, often combined with no social skills at all. It seems to me that when one aspect of your personality is extreem in a positive way, there's always another aspect that's lacking.

I see it as it's not you who had the opportunity to learn from him. It was he who had a chance to learn from you, but he didn't relaize it and that's his loss.


Lena

Very enriching of you, Jelsie. Thus your second paragraph is the perfect segue into what I had discovered about myself through all this unsettling introspection.

This morning I lay in bed, still wondering about all this. What floated up to the surface eventually was an awareness: I could've ended up like him - a pompous ass, like Jatsie stated. I know I have a level of intelligence in me and I'm very keen and insightful, even if I may not be as lightning fast as he. I can't ever cover up any insecurities by acting holier-than-thou around other people and establishing some impossible standards for any kind of relationship. That's not my style.

Then Lynsie's "Were you not good enough for him?" echoed in my head. I thought about how, for years, I had low self-esteem - insecurities, if you will. It had to take yet another intense emotional shake-up for me to shatter that self-pity. But as I was delving into what happened between me and S during our phone chats and our date at The Getty, I was attempting to find a place for my low self-esteem. And that's when it hit me.

It wasn't low self-esteem on my part, not anymore. It was humility! It wasn't that I was questioning my potential worth in terms of what S demanded of me, it was actually that I was allowing him the chance to reveal himself to me. Deep inside I knew I what I worth, that I have so much to give and share. It was my humility that made me immune to the kind of damaging behaviour that S was exhibiting. It was my humility that kept me from being like him. I hope that made sense to you all. It made beautiful sense to me, to the point where tears welled up in my eyes, even now as I type this.

Thank you all again for being there.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Goddammit, I will NEVER sleep til noon again. Ever. Got up at around five thirty. If I start to feel drowsy I will take a cold shower and go for a stroll. I'm sick of this excrement, I will go to bed at a decent hour from now on. No exceptions. Bitch.

[Jatsie]

HERESY!

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Jatsie

There's yer heresy, you vampire!

[lumi]

I don't know why, but today I had a sudden urge to just clean my room. There's a lot left to do, but today was mostly about getting rid of dust and clearing my pile of assorted paper. I also took apart my keyboard, and it was gross looking.

I've decided that when I buy a place for myself, it won't have carpeting.

[Squinky]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

LOL! Now why would you, a socially adept intelligent individual yourself, want to apologize for the others who can and should cultivate their own damn social skills enough that they can speak for themselves?

Because I know how it feels to grow up with all the kids making fun of you because you use big words, and how alienating it can be when no one seems to care about the same things that you do.

That being said, you're absolutely right; it's still no excuse to behave like a complete, utter ass.

[rlpw]

I hate to mow my yard. It's not that I do not want to put out the effort, I have children for that, it's all the small wildflowers that bloom this time of year. Me and Mrs.R used to run around with a camera and take pictures of wildflowers on the side of the road everywhere we went. Then we would go and dig out our little identification books and see what they are.

Blue Eyed Grass

Wild Violets

[bulldog]

Those are nic pics rlpw. When I was growing up in Canton, Georgia we had Wild Violets. When I was a little girl I would pick them and given to my mom and pretend that I grew them. teehee

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Ooooh, those purty flowers inspire me to go have a picnic! Lemme fill this big ass wicker basket with baguettes, cheeses, tapenade, French sausages, fresh strawberries, oranges, bing cherries, and bottles of Orangina, wine, and champagne...

Who wants to join?

[Jatsie]

I'm up for a picnic.

I'd love to go somewhere secluded and sample the delights of your well packed basket.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Oh. Up indeed.

Well, now that you've put it that way, you'll be my only guest that day.

I'll plan another picnic for everybody else. bullsie, you understand, don't you, hon?

[bulldog]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Oh. Up indeed.

Well, now that you've put it that way, you'll be my only guest that day.

I'll plan another picnic for everybody else. bullsie, you understand, don't you, hon?

*sigh* I guess I understand..... but I wanted to sample that basket too ..... oh well, I guess I can go another time......

[Intrepid Homoludens]

You do know I'm planning another picnic just for you, don't you? Instead of French sausages I'll pack a very nice Asian sausage in addition to all other goodies.

[bulldog]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

You do know I'm planning another picnic just for you, don't you? Instead of French sausages I'll pack a very nice Asian sausage in addition to all other goodies.

WOO... HOO.... !!!! You really do love me......

[jacog]

Asian sausage... is that some sort of bad euphemism?

[Jelena]

I got hit at work today. A child my size threw a tantrum over a broken bicycle (not even his own) and I had to get in between him and another child. In the turmoil I took a couple of blows over my arms. No bruises, but I'm a little sore.
Things like this happens every now and then, it comes with the job. I just don't feel comfortable about it. I have a really hard time dealing with violent kids.
It ended good though with him cooling down, slowly realizing that he had chosen the worst possible way to deal with the broken bicycle issue.

[Jatsie]

Poor Lena. You should sue for battery.

[Jelena]

No, but I'll report it to the headmaster though.

I'm in a much better mood now though after Mr J's surprise arrival home one day earlier than planned.
And on Friday we'll be going away for Easter holiday. Will you survive without me for about five days?

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Jelsie

Will you survive without me for about five days?

No.