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Old 09-26-2006, 11:08 AM   #21
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...But you'd never have time to stop to smell the roses.
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:02 PM   #22
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w00t. The J. Paul Getty Center just called me. They saw my resume. I have an appointment next week to interview for the position of Assistant Buyer for the museum shops there.

Must do a bit of research this week. I love my B.F.A. and art history background. w00t again.

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Old 09-26-2006, 03:37 PM   #23
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Trep: Sweet news, man. Good luck.

Squinky: You can't take it all to heart. But you can take teh parts that feel good to heart, if you like.

Aggie: Why are Trep, Squinky and I the only ones writing to you, while everyone else is just commenting as if they're on some sort of message forum or something?

Yours Truly,
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Old 09-26-2006, 03:58 PM   #24
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Dear AGCB,

Despite my joking attempts in the "Thread Must Die!", I've never quite understood the point of writing a blog. When I was posting about my life in the TMD! I was actively attempting to write uninteresting stuff, but the reason that I take no interest in the vast majority of these blog things is that most of them have very little of interest to anyone that doesn't personally know the author (and if you know the author, why not just ask them about their lives?).

As a result I've always been reluctant to do any blogging of my own. I've promised myself that the day I start writing a regular blog is the day that I actually start doing something with my life that I think others might be interested in reading about, and, frankly, going to university and surfing the web just doesn't cut it. In fact, I can think of only one subject that I could write on for any length of time without getting bored myself.

I think I can moan for England.

This is something that annoys me a little; not because I personally have a direct problem with my moaning - I find it theraputic - but because my moaning annoys other people, and other people getting annoyed at me or my actions upsets me. At least, I assume that it annoys people, though many of them keep trying to be helpful and friendly by telling me that I'm not annoying. That must be rubbish, because I'm no good at being friendly to them in return, and I just moan. Which surely must annoy them, because it would sure as hell annoy me.

So what am I trying to say? Not much, really, other than that I'm sorry for the many, many times that I have annoyed and will annoy those with whom I speak. And, if you're not annoyed, then I apologise for assuming that you are; I probably annoyed you by doing so, though, so either way I was right.

And there you go. I've just moaned about my moaning. That irony isn't lost on me. Still, at least I'm not complaining about the fact that nobody likes me or that I'm a failure in life. Yet.

Dammit, this perpetual stewing irritates me. Why can't I just be happy and friendly and universally tolerated. I don't need to be loved; I can live with not being liked by everyone; I hate the idea that nobody particularly likes me. I'm not going to think about that one anymore.

And why am I posting all of this on a community blog? Presumably some of you forumites are now going to wade in with helpful suggestions, words of consolation or somesuch. I'm not sure you can win here. If you do, then I'll probably just get irritated, self-righteously assume that you guys/gals have no business to tell me what to do, and wonder why I made this post as I get buried under increasingly awkward questions that you challenge me to answer. And, if nobody replies, I'll just think that nobody cares. Which is probably true, though I can happily accept that now because I've told you guys/gals that I don't particularly want replies.

I'm sensing that this overanalysis of things isn't helping matters.

Ever tired,
RL
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Old 09-26-2006, 04:01 PM   #25
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Stop stewing, I think you're nice and tender now.
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Old 09-26-2006, 05:37 PM   #26
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Dear AG

Pheelings
Nothing more than Pheelings
Trying to forget my
Pheelings of lloooooove!!!

hmmmm, I must be tired
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Old 09-26-2006, 05:40 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RLacey View Post
And, if nobody replies, I'll just think that nobody cares. Which is probably true, though I can happily accept.
I care.
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Old 09-26-2006, 06:02 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RLacey View Post
Dear AGCB,

*snip*

I'm sensing that this overanalysis of things isn't helping matters.
Actually, this post is proof that you really should get a blog. You clearly have things you want to talk about, andthat my friend is what blogging is all about. You air your thoughts, and then you put it in abottle and throw it out to sea. And when you wake up and walk out of your hut in the morning, you'll find the beach festooned with bottles full of messages in return. You won't believe how fascinating and humanizing it actually is.
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Old 09-26-2006, 06:14 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robsie
And, if nobody replies, I'll just think that nobody cares. Which is probably true, though I can happily accept.
I care. I just don't care for the bullshit and passive/aggressive self-loathing that come with it.
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Old 09-26-2006, 06:49 PM   #30
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Dear AG community blog:

I feel rather lonely. Somtimes it feel like theres no person one to talk to. I've realised how isolating isolation is, and I can't say that it's fun.

Naturally, "fun" is usually a poor goal to shoot for, and I digress.


I just ate a bowl of chili, and it's bloody well upset my stomach.

Yours truly,
Giligan
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Old 09-26-2006, 07:34 PM   #31
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Dear Aggie:

I'm supposed to be writing at the moment. I've reviewed the material I wrote a couple of months ago to finish off the first act, and have commenced the second. Except that, really, I haven't. I've written a title. It's not even mine, really. It's actually a title from a song by Marillion, called Season's End. I've been wanting to borrow that title for some time, and find myself with a reason now. However, I'm having trouble deciding which perspective and whose point of view to start in.

So instead, I've gone in search of information on a friend's World of Warcraft character, to see if I could suss out what rank her main is at. I failed, but then logged onto LiveJournal to find an announcement by her husband that she has in fact reached 60 today. This was what I'd hoped for.

Now I'm thinking I need to start writing, but what I really want is to have a long chat with a friend that I'm still trying to get to know better. Sadly, this is probably not what I should be doing, but I'm lonely, despite the fact that my wife is sitting about five feet away from me with her back turned to me, playing WoW herself. *shrug*

I noodled a little with my writing journal today (added another userpic and contemplated a new look, but stuck with the old one, and just added links), making certain entries a little easier to find, and addign a friend whom I'd like to share a few pieces of original fiction with, to see what she thinks. Vanity, really, I know the stuff is pretty good. Probably just trying to impress her. Silly, really. See what loneliness and frustration with work does to a guy?

Anyway, the IM toys are running, so I'm about as availablbe for chat as I ever am (to the very few I care to talk to in Real Time), which isn't much. I may write a lot, but I'm actually pretty quiet in real life.

Have a good night, Aggie.
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Old 09-26-2006, 07:55 PM   #32
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Quote:
Now I'm thinking I need to start writing, but what I really want is to have a long chat with a friend that I'm still trying to get to know better. Sadly, this is probably not what I should be doing, but I'm lonely, despite the fact that my wife is sitting about five feet away from me with her back turned to me, playing WoW herself. *shrug*
Throw that damn game in the garbage. I've heard of how addictive that is. If you have someone who can give you companionship 5 feet away from you, go ask for what you need. People are always more important than a video game.

/advice giving.
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Old 09-26-2006, 08:01 PM   #33
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*nods* I can't take the game away from her. I'm the one who bought it for her to begin with, along with the six month subscription. She's a woman of few vices, and I don't like denying her the few she has.

And besides, I'm usually working at this hour, and we don't have a major project to work on that we can both put hours in on liek some of the stuff we just finished, so she really has nothing else to do right now but play. It's a 20-man raiding party, and she's new in the guild,so she's building up rep with them to go on the bigger quests. It's such a small thing, I just can't bring myself to interrupt.
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Old 09-26-2006, 09:18 PM   #34
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Just got off the phone with Mr. Redhead. I read him an excerpt from the first story I wrote for the "illustrated children's book for grownups" I'm working on. He loved it. He told me he's a very visually oriented person so the details of the story as I wrote it were very clear to him in his mind's eye. That told me I was doing good, I want the little details and the dialogue to be vivid, to colour the story that it would be idiosyncratic.

Tomorrow we meet to go to The Huntington Library. But right now I'm in the mood to write, yet I don't want to end up going to bed at three in the morning and feeling crap when I get up. I'd like to get up early enough to go across the street to cafe to write, then to post office to send off my short story submissions before he shows up to get me.
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Old 09-26-2006, 09:22 PM   #35
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Dear AGCB™,

DirectX 10 is going to be the r0x0rs!

....and that's all.
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Old 09-26-2006, 11:26 PM   #36
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Just finished listening to National Public Radio's interview with Maurice Sendak about what inspires him to write his famous children's books.

NPR: "People have said, when they've criticized your books, why would you expose these children to this fear and this jeopardy? Is it emotionally hard for you to place children in jeopardy in your drawings? When it gets time to do that page does it take someting out of you?"

Sendak: "No. No because really, I think all children are in jeopardy. I think it is unnatural to think that there is such a thing as a blue sky, white clouded happy childhood for anybody. Childhood is a very, very tricky business of surviving. Because if one thing goes wrong, if anything goes wrong - and usually something goes wrong - then you are compromised as a human being, and that's what you're gonna be tripping over for a good part of your life.

"....look I don't want these kids to suffer. The fact that I intimate that they do is because I have to tell the truth."


I adore him. And hate those fucking soccer moms. Sendak is the crabby but loveable old man who entrances with his stories. I want to be the kooky, mischievous old man who entrances with my stories. There is a sizeable amount of fear, uncertainty, darkness, and mystery in everyone's childhood. No amount of bullshit from today's parents, who dote on their kids and smother them because it's fashionable, will ever be able to cover it all up. All those dark moments are valuable. They build character.

Quote:
"Childhood is a tricky business," Sendak says. "Usually, something goes wrong."

That theme got him into trouble with adult critics in the past, but he’s not worried about how his younger readers will react.

"Kids," he explains, "are so shrewd."
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Old 09-27-2006, 12:37 AM   #37
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Dear Aunt Aggie...

I'm hungry.

...

I must I must I must abstain myself from sinful thoughts. But I cannot help it.

...

Still hungry.

...

At least I'm still fabulous.
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Old 09-27-2006, 12:59 AM   #38
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Quote:
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...because I'm no good at being friendly to them in return
Isn't that something that we should decide? I've felt your friendliness a lot of times. Even your spelling corrections are friendly because I choose to interpret them as friendly.
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Old 09-27-2006, 11:29 AM   #39
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Because I know how much you all care about me (so much so, that you just couldn't stop enquiring about my absence whilst I was indisposed last week ) I shall regale you with my exploits of yester eve.

I met up with a group of fellow homosexuals, and with them paid my first ever visit to a gay bar, in fact three, well two, the last one was a club, oh and one was a lesbian bar, but the less said about that the better...

I must say, I didn't find the bars that interesting, they were just like regular bars, although I'm not really sure what I was expecting.

After the bars we went to the club, and it was the only club I've been to that actually played decent music, which was a huge positive. I recognised the majority of the songs, and of those I have most on my mp3 player. They played Madonna, Michael Jackson, Diana Ross & The Supremes, Patti LaBelle, Lionel Richie, Cheryl Lynn, Earth Wind & Fire, I even did the dance to the Village People's Y.M.C.A. and it totally made my night when I heard Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance With Somebody. There were loads more that I can't remember, but I didn't realise that I apparently have quite a gay music collection, hehe.

The drinks, of which I had quite a few, were absolutely lethal, as were the prices, £4.50 for a Jack Daniel's and coke!

It was pretty crazy, there was a pole in the corner of the room, and occasionally a couple of guys would get up and dance around it, which was a gas to watch.

The lavatories were labelled "The Powder Room" which I thought was nice, as I've been known to use that expression myself.

As the night went on it got a little raunchy, and there were guys making out on the dance floor, now I'm not a big fan of PDAs, but they were hot so I forgave them, hehe.

I met some nice guys in the group I went out with, and some real characters too. One guy who went by the nickname "Flimsy" turned up in leopard print stilettos and skinny jeans that were patently women's, lol.
I got chatting to a guy called Eric, who's half Chinese and used to live in Hong Kong. I hung out with him for most of the night, he was really friendly, and talkative too, which balanced out my ineptitude with small talk. I'm meeting him for coffee on Friday, he's not really my type, but I'm only looking for a friend anyway, so all is well.

A couple of the guys I met mentioned that they thought I was really straight acting, and said they wouldn't have known I was gay if I wasn't where I was, which I took as a compliment.

I finally staggered back home at 3.30am, lol.

So that was my night, I had loads of fun and I can't really think of anything else to add.


This has been a presentation of Jat316sob News, we hope you enjoyed the broadcast, which was brought to you by Altoids, the curiously strong mint.
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Old 09-27-2006, 11:43 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jat316sob View Post
Because I know how much you all care about me (so much so, that you just couldn't stop enquiring about my absence whilst I was indisposed last week )
Well believe it or not, I did notice you were absent! So you've finally left the leather armchair and the cigars at home and let yourself loose at a gay bar. Great news. No go back to the chair so that image of you fits.

I've thought so much about adding something else in this blog except for comments about other peoples blogging. But if I write what's on my mind I'll probably regret writing it.
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