[Phantom]

> Take bit of door

You pocket the splinter. You never know when you might need one! And you're still in an adventure game after all, so you should pocket anything smaller than yourself.

While you were carefully peeling the splinter off the wooden door, you hadn't noticed that a guard was approaching you, and before you have the chance to go back into hiding, you hear a loud voice right behind you.
"Hey, what are you doing there? Dave, I found the bastard! Get over here quickly!"

> convince guy you're one of them

[stepurhan]

> convince guy you're one of them

"Don't be an idiot!" You shout "While you lot were poncing about on those shelves the bastard bolted out the door and he's locked us in as well. I think I just bust my shoulder trying to break the door open and get after him."

The guard glances suspiciously at the damage to the door and your bruised-looking shoulder. He doesn't seem to be convinced but he's not advancing on you.

> push key with splinter

[Karmillo]

>Push Key with splinter

You poke the splinter of wood through the keyhole and hear a clunk on the other side of the door.

Chuffed with your briliant plan you lean back and give the guards a gloating smirk

"..umm, so what now?" one guard queries
"well isnt it obviouse?" you reply "we just grab the bit of..."

Gah! you forgot the paper you dolt!

>slap forehead

[Jatsie]

>slap forehead

The guard, upon seeing how distraught you are, comes to comfort you. Caught in the moment you start making out and things quickly progress.

> Give guard a reach around

[Karmillo]

> Give Guard a reach around

The guards strip down revealing bronzed abs of steel, you shivver in excitement and get ready for the fun!

Just then the cuts in your wrists start to gush blood! All that foreplay must have got your blood running pretty fast as its shooting out by the gallon...

Wait...gallons? that cant be right! but none the less its happening, the guards are drenched in it but they seem to be enjoying it....

Hows this possible? The bloods now up to your shins yet the cuts show no signs of settling down.

This is insane, now the guards stick their arms out and start gushing blood out of their wrists too! spinning round like garden sprinklers..

Its not long before your submerged in the stuff....

Your vision fades...

...

....

...Eehehe *snrt*

....Heee*snrtsnrtsnrt* hehehe...

Whats that noise? Its sounds like a pack of hungry pigs...
Wait, dont they feed bodies to pigs so theres no evidence of a murder!?

Your vision returns and you come to find yourself back at your desk, to your left is bob who is enjoying himself a little too much

"Oh thank god its bob" you sigh

You then realise the situation

"Oh Crap! Its Bob!"

Bob seems to be enjoying himself a little too much over something, out of all the snorts and giggles you make out "Having a nice nap?"

"Having a nice nap?! you think to yourself... "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" you then notice the large erection pressing against your Pants

>Hide Boner!

[Melanie68]

Hide Boner

You quickly make a stack of phone books from the past 8 years and stand up to talk to Bob (thereby hiding your erection). Thankfully you didn't take any Viagra before your nap so your erection quickly subsides.

'So Bob, how is that latest project coming along?'

'Just fine. How is everything with you?'

'Fine, fine.'

>Get Bob out of your office.

[Panthera]

>Hide Boner
You quickly slam the closest book into your lap, letting out a short little snort over the immense pain you just inflicted on yourself. Bob is still standing next to you laughing, and you look sourly at him while you wonder how much of the resent events were dream and what was reality. Have you thrown Bob's papers out of the window? You try to explain to Bob. "What happened?" You shout, trying to pretend that you haven't slept. "Something nocked me in the back of my head! I must have been out until now" Reaching for your backhead you let out a little "Auch" just to emphasise. But you can see that Bob doesn't really believe you. Maybe you fall asleep after willing your mother dead?

>Will Bob dead (again)

Edit: Danm it, I was too late.. Shall I delete my post?

[Karmillo]

you can always respond to Mels command and ill respond to yours

[Panthera]

Mine can still be kinda an answer to Mel's post..

>Get Bob out of your office.

Wondering if you can will persons dead, you try to get rid of Bob that way..

Will Bob dead (again)

There, fixed?

[Jatsie]

>Will Bob dead (again)

You concentrate hard and hope Bob will drop dead, instead Bob's pants drop, he isn't wearing any underwear.

>Gawp

[RLacey]

> Gawp

Didn't your mother tell you never to stare?

> xyzzy

[Lucien21]

> xyzzy

dootsrednu ton saw "yzzyx" drow eht

> Wait

[Karmillo]

>wait

....
....
....
It doesnt look as if anythyng is going to change, bobs pants still lay there around his ankles.

On the bright side your erection seems to have dissapeared

Behind Bob you can see the sun setting through a window, what time is it?

As you get ready to flee you notice that Bob is still standing there, oblivious to the fact that he is currently pantless...why?

Just then you remember the work Bob asked you to do

Crap!

>Push Bob

[stepurhan]

>Push Bob

With his pants(trousers) around his ankles Bob is unable to maintain his balance. He topples back through the window and falls to the hard tarmac of the car park several floors below.

You wonder if this constitutes a breach of the company Health and Safety policy.

As you ponder this you suddenly notice something on the floor where Bob was standing. Presumably it fell out of his trousers(pants) when they were around his ankles. It looks very much like the locket from your weird dream earlier.

? pick up locket

[Lucien21]

< Pick up Locket

You pick up the locket. It is a one of those Ratners cheap ass lockets with the dodgy hinges.

> Open locket

[stepurhan]

> Open locket

A piece of paper with some sort of poem written on it drops out.

It reads

Originally Posted by Piece of Paper

]To get to the top of the tree
Requires no real ability
Just go out and seek
Stavroulas the Greek
And say to him "hyperbole"

What on earth could that be supposed to mean.

/Look for Stavroulas in company directory.

[Karmillo]

>Look for Stavroulas in company directory.

Looking through the company directory you notice that the only employes seem to be you and bob

What do you work as anyway?

Slipping the Dodgy locket and poem in your Pocket you come to acept that you may not be working here much longer...

Across from your office you notice the door to Bobs office is lieing ajar...Im sure bob wouldnt mine you looking around his office...being dead an all

>Go in bobs office

[seebaruk]

>Go in Bobs office

You push the door open and walk into the humid office. The light is on, the long fluorescent bulb gently humming. Suddenly you hear a flush, and an instant later a door to your right opens. You spin round and come face to face with....Bob! He grins as he closes the door behind him, spittle running down his flabby chin.

>Say "what the ****ing ****?? Aren't you dead?"

[Karmillo]

>Say "what the ****ing ****?? Aren't you dead?"

Bob fwafts the air around him chuckling "Woo yeah! Smells like it dont it? Thats what you get for eating the wifes cooking!" Bob laughs madly at his own Joke and "Playfuly" punches your arm

The bitter smell stings your eyes as you make a mental note to avoid Bobs wifes cooking

Bobs mouth begins to move, you find it hard to focus due to the smell but you manage to make out what hes saying
"You were making allot of racket in your office earlyer, I looked in and saw you writhing in your sleep. Having some night terrors there bud?"

Night terrors? Another dream? You dont even remember waking up from that one...Glancing back into your office you realise that you dont even have a window!
Quickly checking your pockets you still find the locket with a bit of paper sticking out of it

Where did this come from you think to yourself, its been in 2 of your dreams yet you have it here in your hands....

Bob the invincible continues to speak

"Hey the big wigs upstairs were looking for you, but dont worry, I covered for you" Bob again laughs madly at his own jokes and punches you playfully on the arm "Maybe you should go and find out what they were wanting"

Without even a goodbye you walk out the room and close the door behind you! with a sigh of releif you think about what you should do now

>go down hallway

[stepurhan]

>go down hallway

As you walk down the hallway you glance out the window. You see the sun shining, birds singing in the trees, Bob sprawled in the car park....

Bob sprawled in the car park!!?!?

You rush back to your office and find you DO have a window (behind the door so you can't see it from Bob's office and with a nice Bob-sized hole in it) So that really did happen. But if that's the case then who is in Bob's office?

Then you realise what the smell in Bob's office was. Not flatulence but

Burning Engine Oil!

"Bob" must be a robot (and an overheating one at that) Is that how the company is operating with so few staff. Have they replaced all the staff with robots? That would mean you're the only real employee left. There's only one way to find out.

> Check company directory

Please can we try to avoid the "dream" option? It's much more fun to try to resolve bizarre situations without rewriting history like that.