[Ninth]

So I lend my (rather expensive) camera to my girlfriend, who swore she would be very careful with it, went to a party, left her bag in a corner for an hour, and came back to see that her cell phone, her money, and my camera had been stolen.

The thing is, that's the second time in two years that such a thing happens (her bag was stolen last year because she left it in a table in some bar, not to count the times when a scarf, and then a sweater, were stolen), so I'm not sure whether I should be mercyful and tell her that it's no big deal, even though I'm rather furious right now, or be harsh with her in the hope that she grows more careful and don't let this kind of thing happen again.

Also, I'm not sure whether I can morally be excused if I strangle her...

[avatar_58]

Thats why I HATE lending anything to people. You just can't trust them to take as much care of them as you would.

[Starflux]

If she's that uncareful with material goods, then she won't mind you asking for a full refund of the camera's worth.

[Jelena]

Originally Posted by avatar_58

Thats why I HATE lending anything to people.

Well this time it wasn´t just people, it was his girlfriend. That sure makes it delicate business. IMO it always best to be as open as possible with feelings. But chosing the right words is really important. Words mean a lot.
Be merciful, but still tell your feelings. Would it work?

[SakSquash]

I'd make her pay for the camera. If she refuses, small claims court baby.

[Ninth]

Originally Posted by SakSquash

I'd make her pay for the camera. If she refuses, small claims court baby.

Hehe. Well, the first thing she told me is that she would get me a better one, even though she's really short on the money.

But really, money isn't my primary worry here (that's the icing on the cake, so to speak). It's the lack of respect for my stuff that I resent. I mean, among all the persons I know, she's the one that's the more carefree with my things, even though she knows I get upset really easily over this things.

[Jelena]

Originally Posted by SakSquash

I'd make her pay for the camera. If she refuses, small claims court baby.

Geee, you´re sensitive!

[SakSquash]

If she were any kind of woman, she would have gotten me a new and better camera before even telling me it had been stolen.

[Jelena]

Well, Ninth is a frenshman. Rumours say that they´re emotional and sensitive and even romantic....

[seebaruk]

Originally Posted by LenaJ

Well, Ninth is a frenshman. Rumours say that they´re emotional and sensitive and even romantic....

Rumours also say they burn sheep and wear garlic as necklaces though

I agree with you Ninth, it's not so much the money but the fact she promised you she'd be careful with it then broke her promise. I'd be pissed off in your situation too, but I guess all you can do is hope she learns from this and respects her promises/your stuff from now on. Or dump her.

[Maquisard]

Dump the crazy putain!

[Dobee]

I can understand that your upset feeling is more intense when the person who lost your stuff is your closest one-your gf, rather than any one friend...surely you have the right to be mad at her especially it's not the 1st time. Be open and tell her how you feel will help the situation, remember it's for her own good too (if she changes this bad habit, she could save lots of money)

[jjacob]

I had something similar with a drunken friend a couple of years ago - at the time he had just gotten fired from his delivery job and had no money, not even to pay his mobile phone bills, so he came to me at a party all down and depressed and asked me for my phone to call his girlfriend, whom he suspected of seeing someone else. I couldn't refuse (I can hardly, ever) so I gave it to him, and about half an hour later I saw him again, asked how it went and if I could get my phone back, and he told me that his girlfriend had dumped him over the phone and that he already gave me back my phone. He was so drunk he could barely stand up straight, so I decided to let it go for now and ask him about it the next day. I went around the party asking if someone'd seen the phone but no success. The next day he didn't even remember calling his girlfriend with my phone (let alone being dumped by her) and didn't believe me when I said he lost my phone, so something inside me just snapped and I got furious over it and he instantly promised to get me a new phone, which he did a week later. I felt kind of sorry for snapping at him and having to tell him his gf had dumped him at the same time, but since then he never lost anything ever again (whereas he used to lose EVERYTHING, from his wallet to his bike to his schoolbooks), so I guess he did learn something from the whole thing. This is ofcourse an entirely different story than you, but I would suggest getting atleast a little mad at her so she might be more careful in the future.

[Jeysie]

Ninth:

Thanks to the fact that I have a poor memory, I have on several occasions managed to set down my purse/bag/wallet/backpack/etc. and then walk off and forget about it until much later.

(Though I was very lucky in that in almost every case I got my item back with nothing stolen out of it. I did, however, once lose a jacket when I left it on the back of a chair in a bus terminal. Fortunately it was just a cheap second-hand windbreaker. But anyhoo.)

So, speaking as such a person, I think you should indeed be harsh with her and tell her you're not loaning her your stuff ever again unless it's staying in her house or you're with her while she uses it.

If she has a bad memory, then no matter how careful she tries to be, she's still likely to goof up on occasion. If she's simply careless, then you definitely don't want her using your stuff.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Lucien21]

Am I the only one that thiks Ninth is being a selfish git.

After all she did lose her own cellphone and money at the same time. It's not like she meant to lose it.

It's only a camera. I'm sure she feels bad enough.

If in a few years she's losing the kids at a party you can get a bit more upset.

[Stoofa]

Originally Posted by Ninth

The thing is, that's the second time in two years that such a thing happens (her bag was stolen last year because she left it in a table in some bar, not to count the times when a scarf, and then a sweater, were stolen)

Then why'd you lend her the camera? Judging from her past history you must have known there'd be a chance your camera would disappear.

[UPtimist]

As advised here

[saucyminx]

Because he loves her.

[playing_games]

Originally Posted by Stoofa

Then why'd you lend her the camera? Judging from her past history you must have known there'd be a chance your camera would disappear.

Hmmm, interesting. Would most of you refuse to let your GF/BF borrow your things if they may not always be careful with them? I might tell my GF to be more careful but I don't think I'd ever refuse her.

[Stoofa]

I would, if it was something that I would very very angry with him for losing.