[Ninth]

Originally Posted by Lucien21

Am I the only one that thiks Ninth is being a selfish git.

After all she did lose her own cellphone and money at the same time. It's not like she meant to lose it.

It's only a camera. I'm sure she feels bad enough.

If in a few years she's losing the kids at a party you can get a bit more upset.

I'm angry against her because she was careless and made the same mistake more than twice, this time with the extra bonus of the losing not only hers, but also my stuff. Plus she was probably drunk, and I don't think one should get drunk when not able to deal with it.
Now, since she is indeed very upset, I obviously won't be really harsh (as you said, it's just a camera), but on the other hand I don't want the same thing to happen again in the past, mostly for her sake, but also out of principles (a bit silly, perhaps). So I'll don't want to say something like "It's no big deal", even if I don't think it's really bad, and even if I really want to console her.

By the way, she got stolen not only her money, but all her papers (credit card, etc...). And, as an extra, it happened in an engineering school party, so the thief has to be one of the guy at her school. You know, one of these guys who will start working and earning their lives well in two weeks. I'm sure they really needed the extra money. Bleh.

This week-end I'm driving 500km to move her stuff from Caen to Paris. At least that's one fewer camera we'll have to worry about moving.

[Ninth]

Originally Posted by Stoofa

I would, if it was something that I would very very angry with him for losing.

I'm an idealist, so I didn't for one second think that she would lose something after saying that she would be extra careful.

[Jeysie]

Originally Posted by playing_games

Hmmm, interesting. Would most of you refuse to let your GF/BF borrow your things if they may not always be careful with them? I might tell my GF to be more careful but I don't think I'd ever refuse her.

I personally would refuse. There's a balance between being nice and being stupid, and IMHO lending things to someone who has a history of being forgetful/neglectful, even if they're a significant other, is stupid.

I know I have a bad memory and tend to lose things, so I would understand if someone told me I couldn't borrow something. Of course, I likely wouldn't ask in the first place because I know I have that tendency, and it would be unfair of me to make someone balance risking their stuff vs our relationship.

Lucien21:

No, quite frankly, I don't think Ninth is being selfish. Yes it's bad she lost her own stuff as well, but she promised to take good care of Ninth's camera and broke that promise by being neglectful and losing it. Ninth has every right to be upset. If you make a mistake you have to deal with the consequences.

Peace & Luv, Liz

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Ninth

But really, money isn't my primary worry here (that's the icing on the cake, so to speak). It's the lack of respect for my stuff that I resent. I mean, among all the persons I know, she's the one that's the more carefree with my things, even though she knows I get upset really easily over this things.

Never, ever give anyone any special leniencies, even if they're your spouse, lover, or parents. This is the second time this has happened. You should draw the line and tell her your equipment (your electronic equipment, that is ) is now off limits to her, no exceptions. Things like cell phones and digital cameras aren't cheap, you know. And it's more than obvious that she's selfish enough to disrespect how valuable they are to you.

If she offers to replace your camera on her expense, let her. Don't feel guilty over it, it's she who should be feeling guilty and not you. From now on she should be having her own stuff stolen instead of yours or anyone else's because of her irresponsibility.

And if she throws a fit or refuses to talk to you, then that says FAR MORE about her than you. She should know better.

Have a nice day.

[Ninth]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Never, ever give anyone any special leniencies, even if they're your spouse, lover, or parents. This is the second time this has happened. You should draw the line and tell her your equipment (your electronic equipment, that is ) is now off limits to her, no exceptions. Things like cell phones and digital cameras aren't cheap, you know. And it's more than obvious that she's selfish enough to disrespect how valuable they are to you.

If she offers to replace your camera on her expense, let her. Don't feel guilty over it, it's she who should be feeling guilty and not you. From now on she should be having her own stuff stolen instead of yours or anyone else's because of her irresponsibility.

And if she throws a fit or refuses to talk to you, then that says FAR MORE about her than you. She should know better.

Have a nice day.

This is the second time this has happened. -> well, the other time what she got stolen was hers, so this time is the only one that she lost me something.
Besides, we're now living together (as of this week-end), so telling her that can't touch my stuff would be pretty strange...
And don't worry, she feels guilty aplenty already.

[Jelena]

Originally Posted by Ninth

Besides, we're now living together (as of this week-end), so telling her that can't touch my stuff would be pretty strange...
And don't worry, she feels guilty aplenty already.

Hey, congratulations on moving in togethter!
You know, my experience of living together is that there´ll be plenty of times where you disagree or get disappionted on each other. One of my problems have been that I tend to "read minds" and also tend to think that my husband can read my mind. Well, we can not, neither of us.

Communication is the answer to a good relationship. This camera business will probably in a while become something you laugh about. Maybe even tell your future kids about.
And now when you´re building a home together there will be a whole new situation of sharing all the things and taking care of them together. I´m very happy for you!/Lena

[Ninth]

Originally Posted by LenaJ

Hey, congratulations on moving in togethter!
You know, my experience of living together is that there´ll be plenty of times where you disagree or get disappionted on each other. One of my problems have been that I tend to "read minds" and also tend to think that my husband can read my mind. Well, we can not, neither of us.

Communication is the answer to a good relationship. This camera business will probably in a while become something you laugh about. Maybe even tell your future kids about.
And now when you´re building a home together there will be a whole new situation of sharing all the things and taking care of them together. I´m very happy for you!/Lena

Thanks! It's not the first time we're doing this living together thing, but the previous time it had been for limited periods of time (5 months at most), while this time it's possibly... forever. (scary, that )

And yeah, communication is really important, but fortunately that's something we manage to do pretty well (sometimes too well, I guess ), and the "Lost Camera Affair" is already something we laugh about (well, I laugh about it; she'd better not laugh too much ).

[Jelena]

Originally Posted by Ninth

And yeah, communication is really important, but fortunately that's something we manage to do pretty well (sometimes too well, I guess ), and the "Lost Camera Affair" is already something we laugh about (well, I laugh about it; she'd better not laugh too much ).

Good! Then you´ll be just fine. A silent relationship must be a nightmare.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by LenaJ

A silent relationship must be a nightmare.

You have NO idea.

[Jelena]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

You have NO idea.

Hey, I didn´t stir up anything did I? Not my meaning.... Sorry if I did.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Oh, don't worry. I was just putting in my 2 sense.

I'm doing better now.