[Intrepid Homoludens]

Alright guys. It looks like Moriarty is gonna be a lot harder to 'destroy' and 'rebuild' than we originally thought.

Moriarty, I'm gonna give you two words in response to your building walls against all this incredible advice you've been given by PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED MORE PASSIONATELY, MORE DEEPLY than you could ever dream you could. Those two words are: So what?

What are you afraid of, eh? Failure? So you screwed up here and there. So what? What's the very worst thing that could ever happen to you, huh? Well guess what. It has happened to me! It has happened to many others here. And we're still here, aren't we? I can tell you right now. I have failed at some things in my life. And I ask myself, so what? Do I just curl up and die? You have no idea. I've done things that have gotten me into trouble. But I wouldn't be the person I am today without stumbing through life. I may not be proud of everything I've done, but I am proud that I chose to not sit in the corner with a me-versus-the-world attitude. Ask Scottsie, Lynsie, and some others here - I've gotten pretty far with myself in my life, and my life will not be anywhere near over if I have anything to do with it. I still have tons of things I want to do and experience. And I'm not ever gonna find out what they are if I just hide myself and say 'Oh woe is me!' over and over. That would be lame.

You're not gonna get closer to happiness by constructing worse-case-scenarios in your head and building walls around yourself. I, for one, am NOT going to tell you what you WANT to hear, I'm telling you what you NEED to hear. That's because I HAVE BEEN EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW, so don't be giving me that "you-don't-understand-crap".

Seriously. So what? Ask yourself, what are you afraid of?

"Go out on a limb, that's where all the fruit is!" - Mark Twain

"No matter what is happening, No matter what is going on around you, Never give up." - H.H. the XIVth Dalai Lama

[Fairygdmther]

Good advice, Trep. I only have one thing to add - Stop looking in the mirror, and start looking out the window! There's a great big world out there, and believe me, you don't know everything there is to know about it.

Lynsie

[Intrepid Homoludens]

And the world doesn't know everything about you, either, Moriarty.

Like how creative, meticulous, and professional you are. How unique you are. How inspiring you can be to others who discover what your dreams are.

Are you just going to accept that? Let the world pass on without ever meeting you?

[MoriartyL]

Well, now I don't understand. You keep saying I'm afraid of failure, but I just don't see it. I've taken jobs which I could easily mess up, I've committed myself to projects which are extremely delicate and complicated. I'm not worried about failure in anything; life always does go on.

Why am I completely disregarding your plan? Not because there's a chance of failure (though is there really? It doesn't set out to accomplish very much at all, and it's impossible to fail at absolutely nothing), but because it's just ridiculous. It serves no purpose, and I've been on similar roads and know that it doesn't lead anywhere.

Intrepid, I'm going to give you two words in response to your comment that there are people here WHO HAVE LIVED MORE PASSIONATELY, MORE DEEPLY than I could ever dream I could. Those two words are: So what?

You guys aren't me. As much as you try to frame the fact in a negative light, you guys don't understand me, or else you wouldn't be going on about trips off to the middle of nowhere. Leaving aside for the moment the fact (which I explained in my last post) that it would lead me to nowhere, it is completely avoiding the real issue. I have a problem here, and running away from it isn't going to do me any good. I need to find motivation for making games, so I can force myself to work on Smilie and future projects, not "make new friends, see new places, and experience lifestyles".

[jjacob]

Trep, I'm so proud of yas sometimes, *cries And don't forget about:
"It's better to travel one mile, than to read a thousand books" - Confucius

Seriously, Moriarty, get out there and live! As trep said, there's nothing to lose, only much to gain. You'd be amazed at how kind these "other people" can be. You need to have experiences you'd never envision having at home, you need to meet people, not isolate yourself from them. Most of these backpackers you'll meet are running away from themselves just as you are, you're definately not alone in your disposition. You can't just live your life in your head, and you can't make a game without having seen some of the world beyond your home. If you don't want to travel before going to college, fine, if you don't want to get some form of education before attempting to make games, fine, but I swear, on my father's and grandmothers' graves, you'll regret it immensely one day. As incredibly cheesy and cliched it might sound, we can only point you in a direction (and what else do you want from us? obviously you posted this here to get something along the lines of advise), but you must go there yourself.

[MoriartyL]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

re you just going to accept that? Let the world pass on without ever meeting you?

Absolutely. The world doesn't need me, but it does need the game ideas I have.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Why are you even posting this here if you don't think you'll be understood? You don't understand that WE actually understand.

Get over yourself. I, for one, understand you all right. Don't think I don't. Please don't insult my intelligence and experiences.

We just told you how to "find motivation for making games", as you put it.

I don't even think you know what questions to ask yourself now.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by MoriartyL

Absolutely. The world doesn't need me, but it does need the game ideas I have.

Classic symptoms of low self-esteem, folks. And possibly even bouts of depression.

Like I said, get over yourself. I've been there myself.

I am not telling you what you want to hear, but what you NEED to hear.

[MoriartyL]

Originally Posted by jjacob

Seriously, Moriarty, get out there and live! As trep said, there's nothing to lose, only much to gain. You'd be amazed at how kind these "other people" can be. You need to have experiences you'd never envision having at home, you need to meet people, not isolate yourself from them. Most of these backpackers you'll meet are running away from themselves just as you are, you're definately not alone in your disposition. You can't just live your life in your head, and you can't make a game without having seen some of the world beyond your home. If you don't want to travel before going to college, fine, if you don't want to get some form of education before attempting to make games, fine, but I swear, on my father's and grandmothers' graves, you'll regret it immensely one day. As incredibly cheesy and cliched it might sound, we can only point you in a direction (and what else do you want from us? obviously you posted this here to get something along the lines of advise), but you must go there yourself.

Ugh. So far, no one has given me a straight answer about what I would have to gain by this trip, but there are very clear things I have to lose: money, clarity, and time. Money because after all I do not have a job. Clarity because the real issue is a personal one, not a social one. This trip would only serve as a distraction from the real issues; I might forget about the real problems when faced with such tempting ways of life to reject. Time, because I'm unfortunately not getting any younger.

Kindness has nothing to do with it. My classmates in school were very kind and open and all that good stuff, and I even had something in common with them, and I couldn't tolerate them. But even beyond that, almost all of my true friendships in the past, with kind people, have ended with me rejecting them and not tolerating them any longer. They may be saints; that doesn't make it worth the effort of seeking them out.

I am not "running from myself", I am trying to deal with my problems. I was hoping that by writing it out here, I might (with the help of my fellow forumers) gain clarity and a solution to my problems. Instead, I have gotten this distraction from the real issue, which so far has not been shown to me to have any connection to what's actually going on in my life.

I don't see why I can't make a game without leaving my home. I've made musical compositions of astonishing complexity without leaving my home. I've written a blog which breaks all conventions and builds new ones without leaving my home. Where is the problem here?

[MoriartyL]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Classic symptoms of low self-esteem, folks. And possibly even bouts of depression.

Like I said, get over yourself. I've been there myself.

I am not telling you what you want to hear, but what you NEED to hear.

But it doesn't make sense, and you're not explaining yourself! Why do you keep ignoring what I'm saying, no matter how much I spell it out, instead giving me fortune cookie wisdom which as far as I can tell is not applicable to my life?

[Intrepid Homoludens]

So just what ARE you expecting from us?

[MoriartyL]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

We just told you how to "find motivation for making games", as you put it.

No, you haven't. You said to go off on this trip. Am I missing some vital piece of information here?

[MoriartyL]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

So just what ARE you expecting from us?

That's a very very good question.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

No, you haven't. You said to go off on this trip. Am I missing some vital piece of information here?

I'll let someone else answer that question. I've already answered it myself (as has Fairygdmther, jjacob, and the others), but you keep deflecting it.

[MoriartyL]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

I'll let someone else answer that question. I've already answered it myself (as has Fairygdmther, jjacob, and the others), but you keep deflecting it.

It's clear that you think you've answered it, but you haven't. The trouble here is that what you think I need is not what I think I need. I'm not sure where you people want me to go, though it obviously involves long and boring trips, but it's not where I need to go. It's not a response to the problem I brought up, just an attempt to create a new problem (though I'm sure you don't see it that way).

[Fairygdmther]

If the only things that aren't boring to you are games and your fantasies, you are going to have a very lonely life - I feel sorry for you.

Lynsie

[Intrepid Homoludens]

Exactly, Lynsie.

[Sage]

Okay, here it is in blunt, unvarnished terms: Your posts in this thread sound like the petulant whinings of a spoiled, lazy kid. You need to go on a trip to other places so you can get out from under Mommy and Daddy and hopefully get some idea of how things work in the real world.

[MoriartyL]

Well, that's probably because I am a spoiled, lazy kid, but thank you for the advice.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

And....? So....? Therefore...?