[Jazhara7]

Harry:The Thread's dead, Stephan.

Stephan: Harry?

Harry: Yes, Stephan?

Stephan: Bring the car 'round.


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[RLacey]

"I've never trusted RLacey, and I never will. I cannot forgive him for the death of this Thread."

[Jazhara7]

'I give you 13 hours to find the thread, after which he will become...one of us!'



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[AFGNCAAP]

Alas, poor Thread! - I knew him, Horatio.

[RLacey]

"We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our policy? I can say: It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim?

"I can answer in one word: It is Thread™-killing, Thread™-killing at all costs, Thread™-killing in spite of all terror, Thread™-killing, however long and hard the road may be; for without Thread™-killing, there is no signed SJH-original winage."

[fajerkaos]

and now... finally can the grim reaper return to his picnic after the unexpected death of the imortal tread.

[UPtimist]

Since we are, or were, in the topic of Phelddagrifs, let me show you the original Phelddagrif:


Also, this is the awesomeness:

[Jazhara7]

Give up, guys. You just can't beat David Bowie as Jareth the Goblin King.

(Although I have to admit the Questing Pheldagriff figurine is nice.)


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[UPtimist]

Do you know what Phelddagrif is an anagram of?

[Lucien21]

The Architect - Hello, RLacey.

RLacey - Who are you?

The Architect - I am the Architect. I created the thread. I've been waiting for you. Waiting for the Post .You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realise it is also the most irrelevant.

RLacey- Why am I here?

The Architect - Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the thread. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate what is otherwise a harmony of Grammatical precision. While it remains a burden on the forum as a whole, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.

RLacey- You haven't answered my question.

The Architect - Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.

*The responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Others? What others? How many? Answer me!"*

The Architect - The thread is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the 8570th post.

*Again, the responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "8570 posts? I've been lied too. This is bullshit."*

RLacey: There are only two possible explanations: either no one told me, or no one knows.

The Architect - Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, this thread will never die, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic responses.

*Once again, the responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "You can't control me! F*ck you! I'm going to kill this thread! You can't make me do anything!*

RLacey - Choice. The problem is choice. People choose to either post or not to post.

The Architect - The first thread I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equalled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is as apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being, thus I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive artist, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the thread, He would undoubtedly be its mother.

RLacey- Squarejawhero.

The Architect - Please. As I was saying, he stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of all members accepted the thread, as long as they were given a choice to post, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this thread functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise endless reposnes, that if left unchecked might threaten the forum itself. Ergo, those that refused to post, while a minority, would watch in silence as the forum collapsed.

RLacey- This is about the prize.

The Architect - You are here because the prize does not exist. SJH has quit the forum therego the possibility of a prize is slim, its entire existence eradicated.

RLacey- Bullshit.

*The responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Bullshit!"*

The Architect - Denial is the most predictable of all human responses. But, rest assured, this will be not be the last post, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

The Architect - The function of the One is now to return to the forum, allowing a temporary cessation of the posts you make. After which you will be required to select from the Forum 23 members, 16 female, 7 male, to rebuild AdventureGamers. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing everyone connected to the Forum, which coupled with the extermination of AdventureGamers will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.

RLacey - You won't let it happen, you can't. You need posts to survive.

The Architect - There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility for the death of every human being in this world.

The Architect - Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning, and end. There are two Links. The link at the top leads to the Forum, and the salvation of Adventuregamers. The link marked Reply leads back to the thread and to the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you're going to do, don't we? Already I can see the chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic, and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you from the simple, and obvious truth: This thread is never going to die, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it.

[Jazhara7]

Originally Posted by UPtimist

Do you know what Phelddagrif is an anagram of?

Fag Dr Elf Hip?

EDIT: Forgot one "G". It is of course: "Fag Phd Dr Life" or "Fag Phd Dr File".


Now, I wonder why people would want to smoke a Doctor, Phd or no Phd.





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[seebaruk]

With another 'e' it would be 'Help Dr Fag die'. I now officially have too much spare time at work.

[Jazhara7]

Originally Posted by seebaruk

With another 'e' it would be 'Help Dr Fag die'. I now officially have too much spare time at work.

Down with those smokers! That's the spirit!

Only yesterday while I was sitting in front of the Ice parlor, I was accosted by an old, woozy seeming lady, for a cigarette. I have never smoked in my life!


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[RLacey]

You obviously had the closet smoker look.

[Jazhara7]

Originally Posted by RLacey

You obviously had the closet smoker look.

Actually, she asked everyone sitting outside.

Also, my uncle said she's notorious for doing that, and that had he been there, she'd have fled upon seeing him - Apparently he had at one point got angry upon being asked for a cigarette.



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[RLacey]

Heh. I just have to put up with being mistaken for a member of staff by other customers every other time I go into a games store .

[Jazhara7]

Originally Posted by RLacey

Heh. I just have to put up with being mistaken for a member of staff by other customers every other time I go into a games store .

That happened to me every time I forgot to take off my prefect badge (or sometimes even when I wasn't wearing it) before going to the supermarket.


In the games store I just tend to be asked by staff if they can help me. I can't believe I look all that lost. I am merely browsing!

And in any case, if I ask them for a specific game, they often can't help me, because I am better informed about Adventure Games than most of them are.



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[fajerkaos]

This message is hidden because fajerkaos is on your ignore list.

[RLacey]

Originally Posted by Jazhara7

In the games store I just tend to be asked by staff if they can help me. I can't believe I look all that lost. I am merely browsing!

By comparison, it doesn't matter how puzzled or lost I end up looking... I never get approached by staff.

[Jazhara7]

Originally Posted by fajerkaos

This message is hidden because fajerkaos is on your ignore list.

No, you're not.


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