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Old 08-17-2008, 06:49 PM   #30741
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I can't. It's too embarassing.
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Old 08-17-2008, 06:50 PM   #30742
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People without nipples should not be allowed to procreate.
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Old 08-17-2008, 07:02 PM   #30743
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giligan View Post
I can't. It's too embarassing.
You've apparently already had a load of that, what harm's a little more gonna do? Plus, you can't see us laughing at you.
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Old 08-17-2008, 07:02 PM   #30744
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Asstastic.
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Old 08-17-2008, 07:14 PM   #30745
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Fine. Whatever, I'll tell. But if I tell this story, and I hear a single joke about it later on, I'm going to go all Full Metal Jacket on you guys. Seriously.


Our story begins a few days ago, when cows from a nearby cattle farm (that's the countryside for you) escaped from their enclosure, and proceeded to trample all over the yard, eating the lawn and leaving cow pies all over the yard. (The owners are still AWOL, and thus the cows are still out. Looks like the police are going to have to deal with it. It's unreal. However, they're no longer in our yard, anyway.)

Fast forward a few days; someone I know had suggested to me that I go to a local church's youth group meeting, meet some people, you know. I did, and it went well. Anyway, at the end of the meeting, suddenly everyone stood up, circled, and held hands. The group has a prayer at the end of the meeting. I'm the new guy, so they ask me if I have anyone I'd like to pray.

Well, it's a bit of a bind. I really don't feel like praying in front of all these people, but I can't say "No, I don't have anyone I'd like to pray for", now, can I? It would sound pretty bad. So I say, "sure, my family." And then the whole group bows their heads. After a moment, I realize they're waiting for me to pray. Shit, that ain't good. So I start off, then stammer a bit, then go a bit further, trying to fake the blanks that my mind keeps drawing. "Uh, I'd like to pray that, uh, the neighbors come to, uh................................ clean up their cows' crap in the back yard so my mom doesn't have to do it. Amen."




So, now you know. Now that that's out of the way, I'm going to slink off and kill myself quietly.

Last edited by Giligan; 08-17-2008 at 07:28 PM.
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Old 08-17-2008, 07:23 PM   #30746
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Haha, that's brilliant!

No need to be embarrassed, that's just comedy gold.
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Old 08-17-2008, 07:29 PM   #30747
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That gold would be a lot more brilliant if it happened to someone else, and I could simply be one of the guys listening who laughed afterwards. I have the worst luck in the world.

I'll only not feel embarassed if you tell me that you've embarassed yourself in far worse ways.
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Old 08-17-2008, 08:47 PM   #30748
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I've embarassed myself in far worse ways.

Happy?
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Old 08-18-2008, 01:31 AM   #30749
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Don't worry, St Peter puts bleeps in on prayers before God gets to hear them.
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Old 08-18-2008, 02:15 AM   #30750
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Old 08-18-2008, 02:21 AM   #30751
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giligan View Post
That gold would be a lot more brilliant if it happened to someone else, and I could simply be one of the guys listening who laughed afterwards. I have the worst luck in the world.

I'll only not feel embarassed if you tell me that you've embarassed yourself in far worse ways.


Don't worry, I've embarrased myself in much worse ways, and sometimes I didn't have the luck of having it be in front of people that would just laugh about it, and then forget it, but instead in front of people who would take a word to taunt you with it for the rest of the school year, because they thought it was funny. These days I know it was ridiculous they did that (actually, I did know that even then, but it didn't really help much), and it's in the past.

Other times, I did something really embarrassing, and was lucky to have understanding and good folks be the audience to it, luckily.

So yeah, I've made a bigger embarrassment of myself more often than I can count.



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Old 08-18-2008, 03:02 AM   #30752
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Old 08-18-2008, 03:36 AM   #30753
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I remember the time I confused non-hydrogenated amorphous diamond-like carbon films with hydrogenated amorphous carbon films (which are obviously substantially less dense than the non-hydrogenated films, thereby affecting the transmission of light to a greater degree than denser materials that more closely approximate the density of diamond).

Now THAT was really embarrassing. Oh, how we laughed.
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Old 08-18-2008, 03:59 AM   #30754
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Did it negatively affect the operation of your time machine?
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Old 08-18-2008, 04:22 AM   #30755
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I once had to record in a building site accident book "Hit self on nose with hammer". In my defence I had a very good reason for doing so. Still worth submitting to Darwin though.
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Old 08-18-2008, 05:52 AM   #30756
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Our humble accountant, on a building site, with a hammer. The plot thickens...
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Old 08-18-2008, 06:02 AM   #30757
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Hmm. You're all probably lying, but I feel better.
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Old 08-18-2008, 06:16 AM   #30758
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giligan View Post
Hmm. You're all probably lying, but I feel better.


I am not lying! Seriously, my classmates in 8th grade in German public school were awful.


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Old 08-18-2008, 06:31 AM   #30759
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Luckily there was a spastic in my class at school, so everyone just made fun of that.
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Old 08-18-2008, 06:36 AM   #30760
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jat316sob View Post
Luckily there was a spastic in my class at school, so everyone just made fun of that.


I could have dealt with being made fun of. But what the ones in that class did bordered on harrassing.


But enough about that, it's in the past and those people are really not worth thinking about.


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- "esc(x) cot(x) dx = -csc(x)!" Dennis added, and the wizard's robe caught on fire. "Gosh," Dennis said, "and some people say higher math isn't relevant."

>>>Inventor of the Mail order-Assassin<<<

And *This*...is a Black Hole - BYE!
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