[pinkgothic]

<vent>

I've no idea how long this topic is going to get. I'm not sure what I'll be writing how. I'm just writing between two vent tags here. Don't expect coherence or structure.

I just noticed that a forum I've been desperately trying to save from dying, The Abyss is no longer linked to from the community it is intended for. From what I have heard of someone else, it's not been linked to for months. Months in which the previous owner gave me the forum, and I've put every ounce of my online energy into restructuring the forum to get it to live again, somehow, because I was unaware it would have this newly granted disadvantage. I actually gave up - I was crying about it at one point, because it was such a pointless endeavour, it seemed, nothing was working, no matter what I was trying to do, and believe me, I was trying. Meanwhile I got shit from my moderators who decided the moderator rules didn't apply to them - I would have demoted them except I felt the board didn't belong to me, but the previous owner, that my ownership was temporary, so to speak, and he had put the mods there, and I didn't want to change his decisions without asking him... and he was super busy and I'm a ****ing pushover in regards to this...

Anyway so I sent the owner of the game the board is about an eMail. And it got spam filtered. The spam filter was so nice to tell me that and bounce the eMail back asking me to please include the subject line "I am real" and just send it again. I did. It bounced back again. I tried again, making sure everything was the same. It bounced back again.

And right now I want to kill things.

Added to that, in real life I've had a cat to take care of for about two months now. Initially, I was supposed to take care of it for one month, but things changed. The cat is my mum's. And the cat is ill. I first assumed a hairball, but apparently, that's not it.

So I went to a vet over two days which cost me 160 EUR, 40 EUR of which was the taxi because BoyToy was at work and hence couldn't drive me around. End of that? The vet tells me to change the cat's food WHICH THE CAT HAS BEEN EATING FOR OVER TEN ****ING YEARS NOW and gives me medicine that, when I give it to the cat, makes her vomiting worse.

I'm at loss in both cases. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and I want to kill.

Added to that, my co-gamemaster in Crimson Feather conviniently vanished today without telling me what happened over the week (it's her simulation and her responsibility to fill in the blanks) - and about four hours ago I should have written a newsletter with the respective plot summary, but no, no ****ing co-GM.

*cries!*

</vent>

[Watcher of the skies]

There, there. (Pats pinkgothic on the back)

Mike

[Sage]

*spreads arms*
All right, come on...two shoulders, no waiting. Go on, get it all out.

ScottMate

[pinkgothic]

Offering a shoulder to cry on is kind - and I thank you - but I guess I'd be happier with a piece of substential advice. Maybe something like "screw it, leave it all behind you, and kill the cat". It'd do. If anything, it might make me smile.

Heh. Not only do I attention whore... but I'm an unthankful little bitch to boot. *marks it down for self-scolding in times where these things matter to her - now not being one of them, for once*

[pinkgothic]

Well, to be fair, my co-GM showed up and explained. Apparently, a storm forced her offline, to make a long story short. She's doing the summary now.

[pinkgothic]

Oh my flipping... *trails off* Of course the 0.01% downtime Yahoo! allows itself would happen now. When I've hit send a good two minutes ago. I think the empty inbox is telling. Yet another newsletter swallowed by the Curse.

This wouldn't be so frusty if it wasn't beginning to look awkwardly made up. I had my newsletter hosted on www.notifylist.com before, and the list swallowed about 3 of just under 30 eMails, which was too high a percentage, so I migrated to Yahoo!.

Edition #25 sent fine.

Edition #26, today? And Yahoo! (well, specifically games.groups.yahoo.com) craps out. How likely is that? IS ANYONE GOING TO BUY THAT? True as it might be, I'm not believing it myself.

This is just fabulous.

[Intrepid Homoludens]

First things first: (((((pinksie)))))

Now, advice. Walk away from all that shit for a few days. You'll not make yourself feel calm, in control, and clear in thought to make decisions if you choose to stay in front of your computer hitting the 'send' button again and again. You're not getting paid for this, are you? Even if you were, your sanity and peace of mind are more important than the current problem at hand. Besides, you'll only be contributing to that problem if you sit there and keep pulling your hair out and getting even more stressed.

So based on what you've told us, none of this is your fault. And you know you've been doing all you can, but your colleagues were not as professional as you. I assume you have their phone numbers. Since you can't email them, CALL THEM and tell them exactly what you told us, and that you are taking MUCH deserved few days off from this shit.

Originally Posted by pinksie

Meanwhile I got shit from my moderators who decided the moderator rules didn't apply to them - I would have demoted them except I felt the board didn't belong to me, but the previous owner, that my ownership was temporary, so to speak, and he had put the mods there, and I didn't want to change his decisions without asking him... and he was super busy and I'm a ****ing pushover in regards to this...

As far as I'm concerned, you are the acting boss since the owner is nowhere to be found. If the mods are overstepping their places give them shit for it, tell them you've been stressing out trying to keep the whole site and forum under control, and that if they don't like your authority, good luck to them trying find the owner to complain. Then announce you are taking a few days off. It's your prerogative to be The Proactive Bitch if absolutely necessary. It's your decision. You've kept your end end of the line up as well as you humanly can, you DESERVE to be compensated in kind for it.

[pinkgothic]

Trep, you know - you're my hero. But then, I'm sure you do in fact know this. And revel in it. Just a bit. Because you ought to. Thank you so very, very much for that.

You're absolutely right. I don't get paid for this.

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

You'll not make yourself feel calm, in control, and clear in thought to make decisions if you choose to stay in front of your computer hitting the 'send' button again and again.

Heh. Sorry. Habit. *shrinks away* *flees Trepian wrath quick before jinxing the post too much!*

[Intrepid Homoludens]

I'm sorry, I forgot to address this one...

Originally Posted by pinksie

Added to that, in real life I've had a cat to take care of for about two months now. Initially, I was supposed to take care of it for one month, but things changed. The cat is my mum's. And the cat is ill. I first assumed a hairball, but apparently, that's not it.

So I went to a vet over two days which cost me 160 EUR, 40 EUR of which was the taxi because BoyToy was at work and hence couldn't drive me around. End of that? The vet tells me to change the cat's food WHICH THE CAT HAS BEEN EATING FOR OVER TEN ****ING YEARS NOW and gives me medicine that, when I give it to the cat, makes her vomiting worse.

Where is your mum? Where is she? Does she know what's going on with your cat and how much it's costing you? When you see her again, she owes you 160EUR and a nice dinner out. Period. (perhaps she's not made of money, but NEITHER ARE YOU) Tell her exactly how stressed you've been over this and some volunteer work that's not been going your way. Hopefully she'll understand ( if you don't think she will, smear a bit of coal under your eyes, don't wear makeup, and ruin your hair and wear dirty clothes and go see her in person).

[em-deecee]

It can be sad when a favorite forum changes character or shuts down.
Hang in there; there really is life beyond the internet.

[pinkgothic]

Arrrararrararggggggh!

<vent>

My girlfriend DarkJewel lost her uncle over the weekend and told me about it today after I more or less pulled it out of her nose. So not only am I ticked off about having to jab her about it, since she lost no word of this at all to me, but I'm in shock/grief about what did happen.

My other girlfriend, Anoniemouse, just got told that her mother has cancer. Her mum's been ill for the past, say, two weeks or so, but the C-word only fell recently (yesterday, I believe). Anyway, she's the co-gamemaster of Crimson Feather, and her mum's been the reason for her absence. The full explanation of which she's also been withholding from me. Marvelous. Again, copypaste from above.

Then, one of my more eloquent Crimson Feather players, Kor, who also runs an RP of her own, told me that she's missing her co-gamemaster... who is in New Orleans. They (the RP folk) have not been roleplaying since Katrina now and her channel has basically died - something mine has been spared of, by the way, despite the inactivity, which I'm grateful for, but it bites that it now hits someone else. She's struggling with herself as to taking over his character as an NPC.

And today I logged onto Urban Dead only to notice that YAY someone revived me and BOO****INGHOO it was in a 1 hour or so timeframe in which revivication meant BUGGY... to elaborate, it's a zombie game. I was, until today, a zombie. I was trying to get revived. Normally, revival meant instant rev', half health points, and that's that. If it caught you when you were offline, it essentially meant you were dead again before you came back online. So the developer changed it so you would show up as "a dead body", and you'd have to stand up for 10 AP - that's all dandy, got me all excited, because it meant I could stock up on AP to later search for first aid kits. What isn't dandy is that there was a programming bug and I lost all my human skills, which's set me from level 14 back to level 11, without Free Running, without Construction and without Hand-to-Hand combat. 300 EXP (that's a lot), gone, poof, vanished, just due to crappy timing and an incredibly CRAPPY bug.

</vent>

And now BoyToy is refusing to whip me to convert emotional to physical pain and get rid of it. Boohoo.



No, seriously, I'm getting numb.

[pinkgothic]

Originally Posted by Intrepid Homoludens

Where is your mum? Where is she? Does she know what's going on with your cat and how much it's costing you?

She knows and she's willing to pay me back. But honestly I'd much rather she took the cat and left me alone. And that's not an option right now. She's got nowhere to take the cat. Not yet. In roughly two weeks, she'll come get the cat, though.

*sigh* Until then, it's testing whether or not the cat needs the medicine, whether the medicine makes it worse, or if she's going to die if I don't give it to her. Note exaggeration.

[pinkgothic]

It'll end somewhen. Surely.

<vent>

Second attempt at an important exam failed - despite all attempts of mine to learn like nobody's business. Interestingly enough it's the only exam I would have still needed to complete my "Vordiplom". Except I can essentially forget the next semester without one, as far as I know. First attempt was 36%. This time was 42%. 50% is needed.

</vent>

[pinkgothic]

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

The Abyss

Fixed. 25EUR later. The shit I won't do for a link. But guess what? It put a smug grin on my face. Amazing what money can buy.

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

The cat

Fi-... healthy. Leaving tomorrow. Bliss.

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

Crimson Feather

Not fixed, but I've stopped caring, mowed over the simulation in question, replaced it with my own (deus ex machina style) and am now happily terrorising all players with my god character. Now THAT is revenge on life. Delicious!

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

DarkJewel

Better AND fixed. Yum.

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

Anoniemouse

Mum was operated, mum is better, mum is probably even fine. Anoniemouse, at any rate, is muuuch better. So that's good.

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

Kor

No update, but she seems better because she's offered to help GMing Crimson Feather.

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

Urban Dead

Well, it was unfixable - but I've been surviving as a human for a couple of days now and give me a few more and I'll surely have recovered. What happened still sucks, but hey. Whatever.

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

Second attempt at an important exam failed[...] Except I can essentially forget the next semester without one, as far as I know.

Nah, scratch the second sentence.

Looking up, though I had to whip things a lot to get there. Still whipping, but life is making progress. Aren't you, life? *sneers at the cowering thing in the corner*

Oh, add-on. The reason I'm bringing this thread back up, even. Tombi has not yet shipped to me. Instead, I got sent the wrong shit. I've sent it back and am awaiting my actual ordered stuff. Or my money back.

*the sound of drumming fingers invades the thread*

[Captain Blondebeard]

You sound like you need some sex.

[pinkgothic]

Originally Posted by Captain Blondebeard

You sound like you need some sex.

I get enough of that, thank you very much. I certainly don't need lewd oneliners like this.

[Captain Blondebeard]

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

I get enough of that, thank you very much. I certainly don't need lewd oneliners like this.

Ouch! I would probably be insulted but I dont know what lewd means

[Sage]

Originally Posted by Captain Blondebeard

You sound like you need some sex.

Originally Posted by pinkgothic

I get enough of that, thank you very much. I certainly don't need lewd oneliners like this.

LOL! I love you, pinkgothic!

ScottMate

[pinkgothic]

But Scott - I'm female.

...








^_~

[Intrepid Homoludens]

And......?