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hypermusician 12-30-2011 03:54 PM

Guess the game from the Amazon review!
How about a game where you try to guess a game from a vaguely written review? The poorer and more misleading the writing, the better. I'll start us off with this corker:

"This game has got to be the best RPG ever made on the PC. Its funny, Big, Easy and cheap. What more can you want in a game. (What more can you want in a Woman he he) You start of as a dead guy (yes a dead guy) with a huge forhead and he looks like he's got eliphantitis and you have to sell preimium transportation to people to the other side. Its a little complicated but you understand it as you go along. You find that all of the people you get coming to you have lost all their money to buy premium transport and it starts from there. Great game. Weeks of entertainment."

zobraks 12-30-2011 03:57 PM

I sincerely hope that's not Grim Fandango.

hypermusician 12-30-2011 04:02 PM

I'm afraid it is! Your turn to post a review.

zobraks 12-30-2011 04:07 PM

OK (but this one is going to be quite long):


Originally Posted by some schmuck on
When I purchased this game, it was because of the rave reviews it has recieved by gaming magazines and organizations, as well as my own personal love of adventure games. It had been a long time since a worthy adventure game had hit the market, and I was looking forward to the stunning visuals and in-depth gameplay I had read about.

Well, the visuals did indeed impress me, and the voice acting was extremely high-quality, a virtual rarity for such games. And the game's story and characters are very in-depth. Indeed. VERY in-depth.

Believe it or not, this is where my major complaint with the game is. I do believe that story and dialogue are important for a good interactive adventure game, and ... (mysterious adventure) has it. In abundance. Perhaps a bit too much. The puzzles are inventive, the characters multi-faceted, the story captivating, and the background well developed. But after the game gets past the initial introductions, there are certain spots in the game where I found myself clawing my eyes out waiting for the in-depth dialogue to end. Do I want story and interaction? Yes. Do I want to spend forty-five minutes listening to two people drone on about the historical background of the game while I sit hunched over clicking the mouse every fifteen seconds to keep the conversation going? No. To be prefectly honest, I got about two thirds of the way through the game before I gave up and stopped playing. I was weary of the lengthy conversations going nowhere, and my carpal tunnel was really acting up.

Kurufinwe 12-30-2011 04:18 PM

Ooh, this is fun! :D The quote could fit most adventure games, but I'm going to guess The Longest Journey.

zobraks 12-30-2011 04:25 PM

2 Attachment(s)

Originally Posted by Kurufinwe (Post 596804)
The Longest Journey.

That's it!
Attachment 3047
It's strange how a game's forte to one person is a major flaw to another person.
Attachment 3048
I couldn't disagree more with the (poor) Amazon reviewer.

diego 12-30-2011 04:32 PM

Let me guess, the next review will come from GK2?

Kurufinwe 12-30-2011 04:59 PM


Originally Posted by diego (Post 596806)
Let me guess, the next review will come from GK2?

That's exactly what I was intending to do. I hate you. :shifty:

Finding a new quote is actually much harder that I thought it'd be. How about this:
I read many glowing reviews on this game, supplied by online sources, but recently found out that a lot of the reviewers didn't actually play the game, and were parroting what someone said. SO the commerical reviews tend to be all very similar. After playing just an hour of this game, it bored me to death but I still ploughed on with it, and at times found myelf falling asleep. The game is very slow, the characters flat, and the story is uninteresting. The writer of this game tried to induce some sympathy for XXXX's character but in my opinion it makes me hate her even more. XXXX's character movement is rubbish...she manages to walk and run, but when it comes to going up or down stairs, she moves like a 70 year old. The game is very poor, and should not be compared to The Longest Journey as it falls well short of that.
I love how the guy blames "commercial reviewers" for not having played the game, but he gives his opinion after playing for one hour.

diego 12-30-2011 05:02 PM

Syberia, eh?

ozzie 12-30-2011 05:03 PM


Edit: Damn, too late! :frown:

Kurufinwe 12-30-2011 05:06 PM


Originally Posted by diego (Post 596810)
Syberia, eh?

I see what you did there.

And you're right, of course (as was ozzie, but a few seconds late).

diego 12-30-2011 05:13 PM

"One of the best games I have ever played. I hope you think so also. I never saw a game since this with real characters in such a love relationship.

When husband gets bizzare... I am afraid for the wife.

What is going on? What is she to do???

Goose bumps with this one.
Scared my nephews for years.*

* best part

ozzie 12-30-2011 05:16 PM


diego 12-30-2011 05:17 PM

Sure :P

ozzie 12-30-2011 06:06 PM

I'm sorry, but I didn't find a funny one so far. I don't won't to halt the thread any further, so I'll just post the best I could find:

So, I thought the whole idea of this game was great, until I played it. It's not fun when you sit, staring blankly at your DS screen for over ten minutes thinking of the answer to a problem.

Not far into the game I spent over a half hour with a paper and pencil figuring out mathematics.

Just not fun.

I understand and see how a puzzle game can be fun, but I don't want to have to whip out a calculator, protractor, computer, paper, pencil, erasers, text books, etc.. just to play this game.

fov 12-30-2011 06:16 PM

Professor Layton, maybe?

ozzie 12-30-2011 06:19 PM


skeeter_93 12-31-2011 01:04 AM

Woo I love this thread! I managed to guess them :D

zobraks 12-31-2011 01:36 AM

Enjoy it while you can, Skeeter, people will soon start to post the likes of China: The Forbidden City, Days of Oblivion, Operation: Weather Disaster, Master of Dimensions.
I know I will (if I get a chance).

skeeter_93 12-31-2011 03:28 AM


Originally Posted by zobraks (Post 596846)
Enjoy it while you can, Skeeter, people will soon start to post the likes of China: The Forbidden City, Days of Oblivion, Operation: Weather Disaster, Master of Dimensions.
I know I will (if I get a chance).

Well lets hope you don't get the chance... Who am I kidding?:P

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