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MoonBird 09-21-2011 06:06 AM

Favourite One-liners
Post here your most hilarious or otherwise memorable one-liner quotes 
Here’s my ones:

”I’m just..ah..planning for the future, is all.”
[Rincewind - Discworld]

”It must be a plot element - otherwise there’d be a better label.”
[Rincewind - Discworld]

”Oh, please don’t get started on the pickels again!”
[Rincewind - Discworld]

”Bernard... float over here so I can punch you.”
[Hoagie - Day Of The Tentacle]

"This must be that Woodstock-place mom and dad are always talking about”
[Laverne - Day Of The Tentacle]

”I like trees and everything, but this one has got to go!”
[Laverne - Day Of The Tentacle]

”I’m thinking of a number between one and ten and I don’t know why.”
[Sam - Sam & Max: Hit The Road]

”I hope there was nobody on that bus.”
[Sam - Sam & Max: Hit The Road]

”My point exactly.”
[Street Beggar - Discworld]

”Wait! It hasn’t been THAT tough!”
[Flux - Toonstruck]

”A Pencil, freshly sharpened... these Germans...”
[John Russell - Unercover: Operation Wintersun]

”No! I’m not gonna take that ‘Your father has to be dead before we can look for him’ -crap again!”
[Nina Kalenkov - Secret Files: Tunguska]

”No, of course it isn’t dangerous, it’s the start of the game. They can’t kill us off yet!”
[Rincewind - Discworld II]

”No, I mean the CAR was travelling too fast!”
[George Stobbart - Broken Sword I]

”Certainly, sir. Which word would you like? May I recommend ‘goodbye’?”
[Footman - Toonstruck]

”Thanks. You speak very good english for American.”
[Nicole Collard - Broken Sword I]

”Can you believe this fucking weather? I mean shit! It was 60 yesterday!”
[Black cop - Still Life]

”That pig tried to buy you!? Oh man! That Does it!”
[Mark Hopper - Teen Agent]

”No Thanks, I’m not horny.” (when trying to take a horn from the wall)
[Mark Hopper - Teen Agent]

[Joe King - Flight Of The Amazon Queen]

”Maybe later.” (several times in the game)
[Samuel Gordon - Black Mirror I]

”Damn good coffee!”
[Dr. Fred - Day Of The Tentacle]

”Tempting, but no thanks. There’s file in my life labelled ‘army’, and it’s closed.”
[Fenton Paddock - Lost Horizon]

”This is Bruno, my personal toothache.”
[Leonardo De Toledo - Murder In The Abbey]

”God said ‘Let there be light’ but Jesus couldn’t find the lightswitch.”
[Jack Orlando - Jack Orlando]

”I see that you don’t know much about this begging business. You see, you are supposed to give ME money. Not the other way ‘round.”
[Henri - Touché: Adventures Of The 5th musketeer]

”Now who would break my christmas ornaments!?”
[Zanthia - Legend Of Kyrandia 2: Hand Of Fate]

”I’m just a cleaning droid, remember?”
[Joey - Beneath A Steel Sky]

”You’re telling me? Take one, please. Take the whole roll!” (when telling the shop keeper that could have a use for a breath mint)
[Shop keeper - The Secret Of Monkey Island]

”Oh my god, did he manage to bring his pantaloons to conversation again?”
[Ben - Whispered World]

”...and don’t cross the road, until the little man shows green.”
[Sargent Moue - Broken Sword I]

"I'm called Henri... well, actually i'm called a lot of things, but Henri is the only one I answer to."
[Henri - Touché: Adventures Of The 5th Musketeer]

"All right, then. ROLL! ROLL through the gates of hell... must you take the fun out of everything?"
[Murray - Curse Of The Monkey Island]

Fantasysci5 09-21-2011 09:22 AM

Mine would probably be from my favorite games.

"Jump! Jump into the abyss!" by Roper Klacks in The Longest Journey, and

"Nothing ventured..." from The Lost Crown and the famous Danverspeak.

Arial Type 09-21-2011 10:50 AM


Originally Posted by MoonBird (Post 590165)
[Henri - Touché: Adventures Of The 5th Musketeer]

I also like to quote Henri.
-He's dead! What a loss. What a tragedy. What's he got in his pockets?
-See this statue? Ours! And the table? Ours! These stones - ours! The wall - ours!

MoonBird 09-21-2011 11:14 AM


Originally Posted by Arial Type (Post 590189)
-He's dead! What a loss. What a tragedy. What's he got in his pockets?

LOL :D - Forgot this one, it's great :D

Ascovel 09-21-2011 11:53 AM

"I know what I'm doing, mom! I think I saw enough episodes of the X-files to know that there's something out there"

Ben Jordan: Paranormal Investigator

Jawa 09-22-2011 12:12 AM

I just locked an open door... strange, yet symbolically compelling.
-Manny Calavera

The gate opens, the gate closes. It does not help.
-Gate Keeper, also Grim Fandango

Look, prophecies aren't in my job descriptions, okay? I'm just a humble P.I. trying to save the world as we know it.
-Tex Murphy

Oscar 09-22-2011 03:08 AM

Another Discworld one (Rincewind)

"Aren't you going to miss all this stuff when they stop making these games? Aren't you just gonna miss it all?"
-Discworld II

diego 09-22-2011 05:03 AM

Wow, what a great selecton of quotes! Nice you mentioned Touche, and yeah, Henri is hillarious :D Narrator in Al Emmo is also producing many one-liners.

Some more:

I'really wish i could help you but i'm just a clueless old fool - Kalypso in Simon the Sorcerer 2, and the whole dialog is hillarious

I've had some bad days since I started work as a private investigator. But I've never woken up dead before. - Lewton in Discworld Noir which is full of great quotes

¡Madre de Dios! ¡Es el Pollo Diablo! :D - Captain Blondebeard, The Curse of Monkey Island

and two from Escape from Monkey Island:

Guybrush in a deep, manly voice - Why hello there, Brittany. :D this cracks me up, i think they used completely different actor, check here -

and Freddie, the Stickmaker - If I wasn't a peaceable sort, I'd have a mind to whack that gentleman upside the head with one of my walking sticks. And I wouldn't stop whacking, until his brains leaked all over my rustic, hand-polished, hardwood floor. A'yup.

aimless 09-22-2011 01:19 PM

I can't believe nobody's mentioned this one.

Who is the boss of you? Me! I am the boss of you!
Zork Grand Inquisitor

KasiaD 09-22-2011 11:56 PM

"I guess I can believe in two things, but that's my limit!"
"Emotional violence? GOOD plan"
"I think my hypersensitive ego may need stroking"
"AIM-ING...Never heard of it a new technique?"
"Rules are for marking straight lines and lesser mortals"
"I'd be peeing my pants if I wore any"

by Max :)

MoonBird 10-02-2011 12:27 PM

One more comes to mind (I couldn't edit the original post!?) so I put a reply here:

"The door isn't locked, but you'll need to give it a gentle nudge. It sticks you see, because of the damp. Landlord said he'll fix it before the winter sets in.....he's been saying that for three years."
[Flower seller - Broken Sword I]

Rolandesch 10-02-2011 03:00 PM

Broken Sword

Moué: [To the dead Plantard] Stop that Monsieur! Stop holding your breath at once!

George: (This was it! The conspiracy had been revealed!) Okay! Nobody move! I'm making a citizen's arrest! (At last I had them! I could see the fear in their eyes as their little scheme came to pieces!) You're all going away for a very long time!
And you can just drop those guns! You're impressing nobody!

George: No, I don't wear a watch. As my Dad used to say, "I'm not into time, man."

George: I felt a slight twinge of conscience as I prepared to give the dog a dunking. It soon passed.

Grim Fandango

Manny: Bound only by the paper-thin wrappings of mortality, a soul here lies, struggling to be free.
And so it shall, thanks to a bowl of bad gazpacho, and a man named...Calavera.

Manny: Sorry for the wait Mr. Flores, I am ready to take you now


Rincewind:It's me! It was me five minutes ago. And it'll still be me the next time you look, too

Rincewind:Why can't I just have an Inventory Window like everybody else?

Lewton: Tempting as it was, I decided not to go round hitting people with a crowbar.

Lewton: Don't worry. Anything we discuss is strictly between you, me, and anyone else I tell.

Lewton: The river Ankh - probably the only river in the universe on which it is possible to chalk the outline of a corpse.

Monkey Island

Guybrush:How appropriate. You fight like a cow
Guybrush:I must have left it in my other pants.
Murray: You may call me ‘Murray’! I am a powerful demonic force! I am the harbinger of your doom!
And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I stride through the Gates of Hell – carrying your head on a pike!

Murray: Just great! I've traded the dark and musky interior of a treasure chest for the even darker and muskier interior of your pocket!

Dale Baldwin 10-03-2011 07:52 AM


Originally Posted by MoonBird (Post 591025)
(I couldn't edit the original post!?)

You can only edit a post up to 3 days after posting it (I think. I might be wrong on the timeframe, but there is a time limit).

MoonBird 10-03-2011 09:50 AM

ok, thanks, good to know :)

HitBattousai 10-03-2011 01:06 PM

Guybrush(and parrot statue) - "I'm Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate."

Anna Wolff and Robert Cath(The Last Express) - Wolff: "Don't you like Rasputin?" Cath: "Oh, sure I do. Just when you think he's dead he pops back up again."

Robert Cath(The Last Express) - "Is Kronos your first name or your last name?"

Gabriel Knight(The Beast Within) - "Well, hello there. Shouldn't those be torches?"

"Brilliant prose if I do say so myself. Unfortunately I'm just pissing in the wind until I can think of a plotline."

(Deadpan) "White sausage. Yum."

Arial Type 10-03-2011 01:23 PM

I also like this dialogue from at the beginning of Broken Sword:
Moue: Freeze! Hold it right there!
George: Don't shoot! I'm innocent! I'm American!
Moue: Can't make up your mind, eh?

MoonBird 10-03-2011 01:54 PM

For some reason, I know by heart about first 15 minutes every word of dialogue from BS1 :)

MoonBird 10-12-2011 03:27 AM

One more comes to mind again:

"Did I say something wrong...or exactly the right thing?"
[Nina Kalenkov - Secret Files: Tunguska]

MoonBird 10-17-2011 05:19 AM

And one more pops up in my mind:

"I've always had a thing for brunettes... And blondes........ Redheads too!"
[Joe King - Flight Of The Amazon Queen]

Niko 10-17-2011 05:38 AM

One i played recently, and made me laugh all the way through, especially this...

"I'll just take the, what the hell, i'll take the whole bloody thing with me, why not?"

[Fenton Paddock - Lost Horizon]

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