"No offence intended" = A great deal of offence was intended, but please don't punch me.
"With all due respect" = With no respect whatsoever.
In the chat section of a magic forum I belong to, we have a permanent thread called Innuendo Bingo. This is for quotations from postings elsewhere in the forum that read as double-entendres. For some reason, talking about magic is a hotbed of double-entendres. Or else magicians just have dirty minds.
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"You are amusing, in a 'what the hell is wrong with you' sort of way."
--Jaheira, Baldur's Gate
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