I'm going to start pretending that my online purchases are really gifts from friends.
In other news, my parent's old car finally gave up the ghost today. Apparently, they thought it needed new shock absorbers, so they took it into the shop to have new shocks installed.
Once there, they were duly informed by the mechanic that the entire rear axle had broken on one side, and was being held on only be a small metal bracket. The frame was completely rusted away in that spot.