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Jeysie · 09-27-2006, 01:07 PM

Dear AG Blog:

Ah, the State of the (Liz) Union...

I'm pretty much broke. I have something like $50 in the bank, and $5 of credit left. Got $60 coming in this week for selling some things, and that's about it. Need to sell more things...

Got a job lined up, finally, after 4 months of little to nothing available in my skill set and my roommate threatening to kick me out anyway. Pretty good one, too... I *finally* have a job that's full time and pays $10/hour, and it's data entry, too. Unfortunately it's only gonna last for 2 months or so, and the actual day I'm starting is up in the air. Hope it's soon, cause I need the money...

Speaking of said roommate, we used to be best friends once. Lately, though... I'm sick of him. He belittles my hobbies, doesn't take anything I say seriously, never gives me any help that matters or requires any effort on his part, and was willing to kick me out even though I was *trying* to find a job, but not having any luck, and don't have anywhere else to go. And he knows damn well from 6 years of living together that when I do have a job I give him any money he needs that I have available; I'm not a deadbeat.

And then there's the things about him that have always driven me nuts, like his inability to be serious about anything and his slobby packratness. Wish I had the money to move out on my own, but seeing as how I haven't had close to enough money in the entire 10 years I've been working so far... yeah.

Hell, I don't even have enough money to buy a computer, let alone move out. Most normal people, they save up to buy stuff like cars and houses. Me? I can't even save up enough money to finally replace my slowly dying 7-year-old computer. The idea of me ever owning anything worthwhile like a car or house is a silly pipe dream at best.

I lie back sometimes and remember back when I was in school. Straight A student, ceiling level scores on every academic assessment test I took, had colleges sending me recruitment letters when I took my PSATs in 9th grade and got back my scores... I was the kid that probably would have been voted "Most likely to work in some big-ass science R&D place somewhere". Hell, I still even wow all my temp agency recruiters when I take their skill tests.

I'd like to say I wonder where I went wrong, except I know right where it happened. I've just spent too many years alternating between treading from paycheck to paycheck and drowning to fix it.

I suppose I feel a little like our AG pal Mory does about money... if I didn't need it to survive, better myself, and buy the few things I want to buy (books, DVDs, and computer games, mainly), I wouldn't care about it. Unfortunately, since I never have any, I'm stuck always thinking about it.

So, I find myself much like I was about 10 years ago... feeling completely depressed, apathetic, useless, and lonely. At least back then I had no bills hanging over my head, and I had just made a new friendship that promised to drag me out of the muck... except that, as usual, the promise of both that friendship and bettering my situation turned out to be worthless. Now I have negative net worth, no offline friends, and nothing to fall back on.

I'm also remembering why I never keep a diary... since the few times I have kept a diary, I'd go back and read it one day, and all the entries would sound a lot like this post - in emotion and utter lack of anything going my way, at least, if not in specific events.

Signed, Liz

P.S. Ignore Lacey's self-depreciations. He's cute, funny, and entertaining to talk to, even if he could stand to loosen the twist in his shorts just a wee.

09-27-2006, 01:07 PM	#44
Jeysie Diva of Death Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Western Massachusetts Posts: 1,402	Dear AG Blog: Ah, the State of the (Liz) Union... I'm pretty much broke. I have something like $50 in the bank, and $5 of credit left. Got $60 coming in this week for selling some things, and that's about it. Need to sell more things... Got a job lined up, finally, after 4 months of little to nothing available in my skill set and my roommate threatening to kick me out anyway. Pretty good one, too... I finally have a job that's full time and pays $10/hour, and it's data entry, too. Unfortunately it's only gonna last for 2 months or so, and the actual day I'm starting is up in the air. Hope it's soon, cause I need the money... Speaking of said roommate, we used to be best friends once. Lately, though... I'm sick of him. He belittles my hobbies, doesn't take anything I say seriously, never gives me any help that matters or requires any effort on his part, and was willing to kick me out even though I was trying to find a job, but not having any luck, and don't have anywhere else to go. And he knows damn well from 6 years of living together that when I do have a job I give him any money he needs that I have available; I'm not a deadbeat. And then there's the things about him that have always driven me nuts, like his inability to be serious about anything and his slobby packratness. Wish I had the money to move out on my own, but seeing as how I haven't had close to enough money in the entire 10 years I've been working so far... yeah. Hell, I don't even have enough money to buy a computer, let alone move out. Most normal people, they save up to buy stuff like cars and houses. Me? I can't even save up enough money to finally replace my slowly dying 7-year-old computer. The idea of me ever owning anything worthwhile like a car or house is a silly pipe dream at best. I lie back sometimes and remember back when I was in school. Straight A student, ceiling level scores on every academic assessment test I took, had colleges sending me recruitment letters when I took my PSATs in 9th grade and got back my scores... I was the kid that probably would have been voted "Most likely to work in some big-ass science R&D place somewhere". Hell, I still even wow all my temp agency recruiters when I take their skill tests. I'd like to say I wonder where I went wrong, except I know right where it happened. I've just spent too many years alternating between treading from paycheck to paycheck and drowning to fix it. I suppose I feel a little like our AG pal Mory does about money... if I didn't need it to survive, better myself, and buy the few things I want to buy (books, DVDs, and computer games, mainly), I wouldn't care about it. Unfortunately, since I never have any, I'm stuck always thinking about it. So, I find myself much like I was about 10 years ago... feeling completely depressed, apathetic, useless, and lonely. At least back then I had no bills hanging over my head, and I had just made a new friendship that promised to drag me out of the muck... except that, as usual, the promise of both that friendship and bettering my situation turned out to be worthless. Now I have negative net worth, no offline friends, and nothing to fall back on. I'm also remembering why I never keep a diary... since the few times I have kept a diary, I'd go back and read it one day, and all the entries would sound a lot like this post - in emotion and utter lack of anything going my way, at least, if not in specific events. Signed, Liz P.S. Ignore Lacey's self-depreciations. He's cute, funny, and entertaining to talk to, even if he could stand to loosen the twist in his shorts just a wee. __________________ Adventures in Roleplaying (Nov. 19): "Maybe it's still in the Elemental Plane of Candy." "Is the Elemental Plane of Candy anything like Willy Wonka's factory?" "If it is, would that mean Oompa Loompas are Candy Elementals?" "Actually, I'm thinking more like the Candyland board game. But, I like this idea better." "I like the idea of Oompa Loompa Elementals."