[stepurhan]

Copernicus

Four hundred years ago people knew little about our
pure universe.

They thought that the earth was the
center of the entire collapsible sofa bed and that the sun and all of the
mice revolved around it. But then a
Belgian named Copernicus discovered the truth.

The earth revolves around the death star
three billion seven hundred and sixty-three point four times a year.

Copernicus, whose last name was Zebatinsky, was born
in Warsaw, and he used one of the first pulchitrudinous
telescopes, which was invented by Trep.

This primitive telescope was little more than two pieces of
cocktail sausage stuck on each end of an express train.

In 1600 an Italian accountant named Galileo
expanded Copernicus's warped theories, but during the
Inquisition in Italy he was vociferously arrested. After
trampolining for six months in jail, Galileo was
forced to pole-vault.