Quote:
|
Originally Posted by bysmitty
Most of us are harmless. 
|
I'm not!
"I think he did indeed have you in mind when he put 'Most' in italics, Mommy..."
Yes!
Welcome to
my Kingdom of Doom and Despair the Command Base of the Loony Empire. The Loony Empire, that entails all of the planet, every last
mindless minion human individual. It is ruled by the High and Mighty Loony Empress Jazhara of the World.
"That's Mommy."
Thanks Iggy. Anyway, you must surely wonder how you found this page. I hope you don't remember it. Nobody remembers it, not even I! But don't worry, we have several methods of removing that bit of your memory. It's for safety reasons (and so that no envy arises among my followers). Don't worry, we have several methods to help you forget. Let's see...The Mallet-across-the-head method is still available - Mr. Grue has even been trying to convince Jazhara666 to improve her aim, and to try and remove the memory with the first hit. Any news on the progress of this, Iggy?
"Mmmh...I made a not of it somewhere. Ah yes: Null. Nil. Nada. Zero - They made no progress at all. Mr. Grue actually managed to convince Jazh666 that it would be for the better. But we should have remebered that that would be motivation for her to increase the tries necessary, what with her being your evil twin and all."
Yikes...Oh well, there's other choices, should this not sound pleasant to you.
>>>I wouldn't know why it would sound unpleasant... *smirks*<<<
You be quiet over there. And keep the evil fluffy bunnies away from her.
>>>As you wish, oh Small Mistress of Loons.<<<
*glares* Okay, on to the other methods. We are currently testing a memory-altering drug, in order to make the removal of the memories easier. It's still in the test phase, but if you want to, you could be one of the testers. Of course it would be at your own risk.
"Known side effects currently include, but are not limited to: Headaches, loss of conscience, Sudden Omniscience (we're not sure if this one's a blessing or a curse. For one being All-Knowing certainly has its benefits, on the other hand there are things that are better left unknown. Also, it's certainly the wrong direction, as the drug should *remove* memories, and not add onto the knowledge.), Panic and a desire to slam one's own head into a wall repeatedly (often as a result of the previous side effect), a sudden desire to eat the Great Wall of China, vomiting, acne...oh, and
Semprini."
I hope nobody heard that last one...
We used to have surgery too. It's a pity, because this method was extremely popular. But since Iggy lost her scalpel...
"Well, I am still searching, and I have a hot trail here. Can't be much longer. Meanwhile, I've borrowed one of your father's porcelain knives. It might not be as keen as a scalpel, but it's sharp enough to cut tomatoes without problems, and it doesn't go blunt either!"
Great! Okay, so brain surgery is available again. It will be performed by my darling foster Angel-Dragon Igrette. Don't let her claws fool you, they are more nimble than they look.
Make your choice, and be quick about it. I can't wait to hand you your free inflateable bunny with big pointy teeth, once you forgot how you forgot how you found your way here.
Oh, and Balance protect!
-
